Expert: Sam E - 4/3/2007

Question
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years. He was my first everything and I love him with all my heart. He never gave me a reason to doubt him. He always told me how he could NEVER cheat on anyone and how he wouldn't tolerate it either. I believed him and trusted him. Our relationship was good, we had our fights but then we talked about it and tried again. Last friday he told me he was having an affair since 2 years and he broke up with her a week before he told me I WAS DEVASTATED!!! He had sex with her and went on two trips with her. He told me he is truly sorry and he wants to make our relationship work, that he will do everything to make me happy and he has promised not ever to do something like this again. I am very confused, I still love him a lot but when I see him I can see her too, in my mind there is a picture of them spending time with each other, having sex, kissing each other. I don’t know what to do now. He had planned a trip to Italy with his uncles a few monts ago for this week and he doesn’t want to cancel that, and I do want him to cancel. I cant forgive him for this right now, but I am willing to work on it, but he has to do the effort now. Am I doing the right thing? Should I try again or am I making a big mistake? Please help me  

Answer
Stay away from him. He obviously does not love you. Two years he lied and cheated.  This was not a one time thing! I don’t suggest you work on anything with him. Work on you and your self-esteem. That is what you need to do right now.  He is not worth anymore of your time! I can tell you that if he was able to carry on an affair for 2 years that he will not change! He has no love or respect for you so why waste time on that? Moving on will be hard, but staying will hurt you a lot more in the end.  Go get support from family and friends. Surround yourself with their love. Tell him to leave you alone and hit the road!
~Sam