Expert: Ini Obong - 8/1/2005

Question
Im 18 and have been going out with my 19 yr old boyfriend for 5 months.  Im his first real relationship because hes one of those guys that isnt really into committment.  I thought that that was a good sign because it must mean he really cares for me if im his first real relationship.  Well two nights ago I found out that my boyfriend had slept with two girls during our relationship. one of them had been three nights ago and the other one was about a month and a half ago.  It really hurt me that he could be such an asshole.  Whats worse is that he has been accusing me of cheating on him for the past month or so.  Ive never cheated on him because I dont like anyone else so I dont see the point.  When I tell him that he doesnt believe me. It really hurts me because our whole relationship Ive blown off my friends and made him a priority and then this shit happens.  It makes me wonder if he ever really cared for me.  What makes it worse is the girl he just screwed totally hates me and has been spreading rumours for a few weeks that ive been messing around with other guys. I dont what to do.. I found out about my boyfriend from a couple of his friends when they were drunk and Im sure he knows I know because he is avoiding me now(maybe he feels guilty? I hope he feels somthing.).  I dont know what to do and I dont know why he did this, but he was acting really distant this past week(before he screwed that girl). I have really tried to be a good girlfriend and always stood by him... also any advice on confronting him would help.  

Answer
Hi,
It is sad that you have such an irresponsible boyfriend when you are so committed. Well such things happen. What country do you live in?

It is better you forget him and find yourself a more decent man. You can be sure that he will never change and the longer you stay with him the sooner you will start to behave like him and start to sleep around.

You dont need to confront him but if you have a strong need to do so, just tell him you are tired of his cheating and you dont want to see him again. Don't go into any long arguments because he is just gonna insult you.

Also I encourage you to restrain your use of foul language.

Wish you all the best.

Cheers