Expert: Don - 6/25/2007

Question
I've been going out with my boyfriend for 7 years. When we met each other we felt as if all our birthdays had come in one,etc! for a long time. As with all couples we've gone through lots together: ups and downs! I broke up with him 2 years ago as I felt we weren't making much progress and he had been travelling abit so things were strained. So we had a 4 month break which I thoroughly enjoyed and got back together then! A few months later we moved in together and have been living together now for a yr and 1/2. Getting back together wasn't the high I thought it would be and living together is actually something you have to work at. We get on great, are very different, but quite compatible! Things became routine, passion wasn't high on the list of priorities. He was feeling unfit and wasn't up for it a he should be lets say and I became like that too. We talked about these things and for all the world were committed to each other.
One evening in earley March I had a look for some reason in his hotmail a/c and saw about 4 v-short emails in his a/c from an unfamiliar name. (he has a work mail a/c and rarely uses his hotmail). So I opened 1 of them and it read 'where are u? (my boyfr) She replied: i on holidays from college and work now     mis you  kisses   wat avr you want. He replied with a sad face. she sent another and said: you work hard days now? He replied: where is photo YOU PROMISED? She replied:my computer not work now. I fix it soon. kisses. He replied: FORGET IT. (Sorry for all the detail but I really just want to see what others think) (It's the small details that bother me!) Now this was over a period of a month.
To cut the long story short I confronted him and he said it was a girl he had met in Brazil one night, when we were broken up (which he hadn't told me about, even though we were supposed to be starting afresh,etc. I was only delighted to hear he had been with others as I felt at least he's a red blooded man!). He said that she had mailed him in January and that they had a few conversations on messenger.

Sorry bout the lenght and detail! What do ye think?? What would you do in that position???
Thanx for your patience! E

Answer
I wouldn't do anything. He's not really doing anything but having email conversations with a girl that is kind of a friend of his.

He hasn't really done anything wrong, he met her when the two of you weren't together. Whatever he did with her he did before the two of you got back together. Plus she doesn't even live in the same country you live in so chances are he couldn't do anything with her even if he wanted to.

I think you should work on making your relationship stronger and bringing back the passion between the two of you, instead of worrying about some girl from an email.

I wouldn't worry if I were you.