Expert: Don - 11/30/2007

Question
I've been with my current g/f for a little over 2 years. I care very much for her but lately she has just been becoming too comfortable in our relationship. By that I mean she just isn't trying anymore, she doesn't even really try to look nice. Not that she isn't attractive without trying (she is), but the fact is that her effort in the relationship is lacking is starting to deflate the effort I want to put forth since it hasn't been being returned. Anyway that's the backstory. Here's the dilemma. Lately, I've been talking more with a very attractive co-worker and there is definate chemistry between us. She has shown interest in taking it further(she knows I have a girlfriend). And honestly I know it is just lust but nonetheless something is going to give in either the work aspect or home aspect. I want to stay with her, but I really want to get with the other girl at work. I haven't decided which way I'm going to go with this, but if I wanted to cheat and not get caught what would you suggest?

Answer
I’m going help you out here buddy with a few tips that should help, I can’t give you all of them because if I did I’d be typing all day.

If you live with your girlfriend, never and I do mean never ever bring the other woman back to the house you share with your girl. Go to her place a hotel, motel, hell have sex with her in a car before you bring her back to your place. You don’t want to risk her leaving an earring behind or any item that your girl might find and get suspicions.

As a matter of fact you shouldn’t even let the girl you’re are sleeping with on a side know where you live, that way if she ever gets upset or if you break it off with her she won’t know where to find you.

Make sure the girl you are cheating on you doesn’t contact you; you need to make it so that when you want to have sex with her you are calling her and she isn’t calling you. Believe me it’s hard to explain to your girlfriend why somebody keeps dialing your phone constantly.

Never use your house phone or a phone you share with your girlfriend to call her, because just like you don’t want the other girl to know where you live you also don’t want her to have a way to get in touch with your girlfriend. This stops her from trying to call your girlfriend to get revenge if things go bad with you two.

Always get your lies straight and have a reliable alibi. If you are telling your girl you are going out with a friend of yours, make sure you give the friend the heads up and let them know to cover for if your girlfriend calls him. To many men get caught up because they tell their girlfriend that they are going out with Brad or whomever, and then the girlfriend calls Brad and he’s like I haven’t seen the guy. Now the guy has to come up with a lie to explain why he lied to his girlfriend to begin with.

If you are going to lie keep it simple, or keep the lie really broad, so she can’t ask for a lot of details. The more details you have to remember in a lie the harder it is to keep the lies straight and the easier it is for you to get caught in a lie.

After cheating with your girl and having sex with the other girl, wash your body but don’t use soap, use water to wash the sex smell off of you but don’t use a soap you don’t use at home or a soap with a strong smell. Your girlfriend will think it is odd if you come home smelling like you just took a shower.

No hickeys don’t even let the other girl linger in your neck area.

Make sure the girl you’re cheating with knows it’s only about sex. Don’t start letting her talk you into taking her out on dates. The more you are seen with her in public the more likely it will be that somebody who knows your girlfriend will see the two of you together in public. So keep all the things you do with the girl you are cheating with behind closed doors.
If the girl that you are cheating with wants to make it more than about sex, then break it off with her, I don’t care how good she may be in the bedroom, if you want to keep your girlfriend let the other girl go. There is always some other girl out there looking for a fuck buddy.

Don’t feel guilty, a lot of men get caught because they start to feel guilty and end up changing their patterns about it, if you are the type of guy who gets guilty easily then cheating isn’t for you and you don’t need to do it.

Don’t change your sex habits with your current girlfriend, if she is used to getting it 5 times a week you need to keep giving it to her 5 times, a lot of men get caught because all of a sudden since they are getting sex from another source they don’t try to get it from their girlfriends. You don’t want to change your habits and have her wondering all of a sudden why you aren’t trying to have sex with her as much anymore.

Lastly always use protection. It’s bad enough you’re messing around on your girlfriend you don’t need to make it worse by bringing home a disease. Plus a STD is proof that was cheating to begin with and you’ll lose your girl.

All right these should get you started for right now, there are way to many tricks to the trade for me to type out right here, but trust me they work.