Expert: RITA - 5/20/2004

Question
My boyfriend and I have been going out for 6 months now. We're really close and till now everything has been perfect. About 2 weeks ago I went out with my friends and these 2 guys and we just drove around and got drunk. well I got really intoxicated and blackedout(don't remember anything but was consious). Well my close friend said that sometime that day she walked into the car and saw me having sex with this guy... and later on he said we did too. The thing is that I don't remember any of this or much of what happened that night.

Well my friends and I got suspended cause we got caught drunk and drove back to school (which was stupid). I havent seen my boyfriend since but I feel really bad about the insidence. I was going to tell him about it when I saw him next week till last night when he called me and was all laughin and said "everyone thinks you had sex in the back of a car and thinks that's why you got suspended". Well i laughed it off to him and said itt was a rumor cause i didn't want to break it to him on the phone.

Should i bother tell him and put him in pain, shrug it off and keep it to myself, or end the relationship to save me from the guilt and him from my lies?  

Answer
Hello Michelle
Thank you for your question, I will try to help. I get the sense that you are in your teenage years from what you describe, and I know how hard it is to be a teenager because I was one at some time of my life. The thing is you really need to get some counseling for 1) drinking underage and why you feel the need to have such dangerous sex(unprotected, Im assuming) leads me to think that you have a very low self esteem. I know that it seems fun to party and ditch school, but it's only a dead end street, and your missing the best years of your life...please get some help..before you make any more bad decisions. As for the boyfriend, I can't tell you what to say to him..he's not really my concern, since I think that is the least of your problems at the moment. Take care