Expert: Don - 5/24/2007

Question
about 9 months ago, my boyfriend cheated on me at a party with another girl.  they left together and he was drunk, and they ended up having sex in her car. he only did it once, and when i heard about it, he assured me that it wasn't true.  he lied to me about it for 7 months, and when anybody asked me about it or tried to tell me it was true,  i defended him and said it wasn't. after all, he out it on my life, our relationship, and his dead mother's grave. i repeatedly asked him if there was anything he was keeping from me and if he ever did something to hurt me, and he always said no. when one of my best friends told me that he did in fact cheat, i confronted him with her there and he told me. i WANT to be with him, I really do. i just do not know how to forgive/forget about what happened...i gave him my everything and he made a stupid mistake that makes me constantly question his love for me every day. i just want to move on because i know he loves me, i just am so hurt. what do i do? i cannot see myself without him and i have planned my life around him. . .how do i move on? how do i stop thinking about what happened?

Answer
You come off as really pathetic, why would you want to stay with a guy who disrespected you by cheating you, and then disrespected you further for lying to you for 7 months over and over and over again. And only finally told you the truth when you had to confront him with a friend. This man made a fool out of you for 7 months and you're still going stay by his side. You need to not plan your life around somebody else, but plan it around what would make you happy.

But that's not what you asked me, you asked how do you move on. I can't tell you how to move on, you just have to decide that your relationship is more important than your feelings of hurt by what he did. If your love for him is stronger than your hurt then you have to learn to forgive him what he did and move on. If you can't do that then you need to break up with him because the relationship isn't going to work anyway.