Expert: Don - 8/20/2007

Question
Last Saturday I went out with a few of my guy mates (I generally only have guy mates), on a night out-my boyfriend was away on a works night out and I wasnt invited. I arranged to meet my boyfriend later when we both got home as I wanted to spend at least a little time with him before the night was over. He phoned and I jumped in a cab home to him and we had this massive row as he was upset that I was really quite drunk (not to the point I was incoherent I had just went a little too far as sometimes happens). He ended up storming upstairs into bed, I was really upset so I called my friend Donivan and jumped in a cab to his house. When I arrived, his friend Robb was there (a dude that has really liked me for a while) and all three of us were in Dons bed to go to sleep as we were all really wrecked and i trusted them. I was really upset and Robb started getting too close, so I pushed him away but he kept coming back to me and I ended up kissing him which eventually led to something much more than that. I am so gutted and ashamed of myself. I cant believe I let myself do such a disgraceful thing and I dont know whether to tell my boyfriend or not. I love him, I dont want to hurt him, I told the guy I slept with that it was a mistake and I truely regretted it, as does he. Nobody knows about it and will never do if I choose to not say anything. but please tell me what the right thing to do is? Should I tell him? I dont deserve him after what i've done but i also know if i tell him, he will be absolutely heartbroken. Gosh im in such a mess, please help me! I need guidance!!!

Answer
I wouldn't tell your boyfriend if I were you, especially if you don't plan on doing what you did ever again.

You need to know what you did was wrong, but as long as you don't ever plan on doing it again, there is no need to tell your boyfriend.

Why hurt him unnecessarily and risk your relationship by telling him something you already know was a mistake. All it will do is upset him and make him want to break up with you.

To avoid that keep what happened to yourself and make sure it never happens again.

Trust me it will be better for the both of you if you just forget it every happened, move on and forgive yourself.

Keep it to yourself and make sure it doesn't ever happen again.

I hope this helped and good luck.