Expert: Amanda L. - 3/21/2004

Question
hi amanda, well, i've been married for almost 3 years and
unhapppily for almost 3 years.  I married a woman who was
sweet, funny, respected me, loved me, she was great..I loved
her-obviously we got married.  But she was masking the entire
courting period~  she turned into her father almost over night, a
very quiet, self centered, harsh person.  I am an extremely
passionate person who had never even seen this side of her and
now it's all I get.  I need some release.  We have sex only like
once every 2-3 months, I'm 24 with a huge sex drive.  
Everything is ticklish to her so it's hard to be romantic...we are
complete opposites.  I'm thinking about having an affair....what
do you think?  I've been to counseling to try and help the
situation...and she refuses to go.  She thinks i'm only imagining
things.  

Answer
dylan,

maybe instead of having an affair u should check the marriage a little more and decide whether she's what you really want for the rest of your life, because it doens't sound like thats what she is.  If she's not willing to see the problems that you two obviously have then she's not willing to fix them.  I know that you love her, and I'm sure that she loves you but she's obviously changed into someone you don't like and you shouldn't stay with someone like that just because of someone she used to be.
If you want to have an affair its your choice, but think of all this crap you'll have to go through if she finds out. It'll be even worse then if you guys decide to split up now and go on with your life.

Amanda L.