Expert: Sam E - 1/5/2007

Question
ok .. lol where shall i begin lol sorry the background info is a little lengthy..me and my guy have been dating  for going on three years now we've broken up twice both for very short periods of time .. the first year was fine but during the second year i had gone to visit my mom  in Arizona i was gone for almost two months and when i got back i received an e-mail from the EX girlfriend telling me that while i was away he had indeed cheated on me i confronted him and he denied and i belived him ...a few months later we had a slight falling out for about a week or so and in that time i found out all allegations were true she had been telling me the truth
he apologized and said the reason he denied it was because he didn't want to hurt me and because he knew he had done something bad and didn't want to lose me .. we continued to date but i had lost all trust in him .. and have become very curious so now nearly a year later he had been checking his e-mail on my computer and left it open when he left .. i couldn't help myself .. i read them :( and found out there was another girl at that time he had been cheating on my with  .. infact they had been dating while i was gone !i confronted him about it but he Denies that as well .. claiming that it was one of his more .. Promiscuous friends flings and that it was so long ago what does that have to do with now.do you think it has been to long to make something big out of??? it bothers me that he lied to me once again about it when i know that it was infact him not his friend   there was also allot to and from the ex girlfriend he had told me he had stopped talking to .. in them he tells her he loves her and writes things like " *Kisses*"
should that be something to worry me ?? shes always talking about how there meant to be together .. and then *oh yes it goes on and gets worse lol* there have been a few girls that he again tells me are his friends flings when he talkes about them .. but as i read some of the e-mail it has accured to me that they were all his .. the last e-mail from those girls are from a few months ago
i don't know what to think anymore but i find myself always wondering now and i hate it :( he had assured me after i confronted him last night about the other girl ... that i was the only girl in his life right now ... lol would it be nieve of me to belive it ???


   (sorry about the length)  

Answer
Most men are not going to come clean and admit they are cheating. As you know from the last time, he will deny it. I think you have a right to be upset that he was dating another while he was with you. Even if it was a year ago! Plus, what kind of guy does that? He obviously has no respect for you or for the relationship.  Since he has done his before and the emails are so explicit, I think that he is not being honest with you now. I think the emails speak for themselves. That is the only girls in his life right now?? So you should be okay with that? Come one. Don’t allow him to walk on you like that. Every person deserves to be loved and respected. Period! I think you know what is going on and waiting for him to admit it is not wise.  He is not going to be honest with you. He wants his cake and to eat it too and as long as you allow him to fool you, he will.
I suggest you split form him. You need some time away to decide what you really want and he needs to see that you are not willing to allow this type of thing to go on.
Not only is he mistreating you, he puts your life at risk with his cheating (AIDS is still alive and well in the US)!!
Walk away now. You will thank yourself later!
Hope this helps and write anytime!
Sam