Expert: Peggy - 3/25/2002

Question
Peggy , i was married for 10 years caught my husband fooling around on me. left him with no regrets. 3 months later met a guy to be my room mate insted we started to date. He was very charming and handsome he lured in making love again. I did not tell him nor show him that i really cared because i found myself falling in LOVE with him. I tried not to.I played it very cool..however I thought he was lying to me about other women.At first I thought i was nuts but i found out 2 months later. He tried to denie it but i called her up,he told me that i was Jealious
and ventictive. And that this was a sickness. its 6 months later i have dated many guys since.  But i still LOVE him I know i could never go back to the bull. But there were so many mixed messages i just can't figure it all out...and i had no closure with him. And i wonder why i even care?   Nikki

Answer
Hi Nikki,
It is so much harder to fall out of love than into it.  It
is easy  to fall in love (or rebound) if you have just been hurt by someone else.  A man comes along and tells you everything you want to hear at a time when you really need to hear it.  But as they say, once a cheater always a cheater, and from most of my studies it is true...  You deserve more.  Go out, keep busy, and read a few good books
on Getting on with your life.  It will be hard, but it will be better than being with him and finding out every few months that he is screwing around on you.  You deserve someone better, and I'm sure he is out there looking for you.
Good Luck
Peggy