Expert: Don - 4/28/2007

Question
I just started casually seeing a girl in April. She was out of town for the weekend visting friends. Her friends in town decided to go out to a local 18+ club in town. They ended up running into an Ex girlfriend of mine that I cheated on over a year ago and broke up with right afterwards. Well long story short my ex told my new girl's friends that I cheated on her. I got a call from one of the friends and was interrogated immediately about the situation. I knew immediately that the friend knew and came clean about everything and was honest about everything that happened. At first she was very upset with me and made threats about that if I hurt her friend she was going to hurt me and was very angry. After I explained myself she really calmed down and said that everyone makes mistakes and its in the past and asked If I had changed. I said yes without a doubt and told her I care about her friend a lot and I would never want to do that. I also told her that I would like to talk to her to explain in more depth what happened. My question is what do I say??? Do I explain everything to her friends? Do I call the girl I just started to see and explain about my past? I just need some help on how to handle this and where to go. Cheating was a terrible mistake and something that I never want to do again!!! Thanks for any help.  

Answer
First off you don't owe and explanation to the friends, if you want to give them one that's fine but you don't owe them anything because they aren't the ones you are in a relationship with.

As far as your girlfriend, just be honest with her about the circumstances of why you cheated in the past. Tell her why you did it and at the end explain to her, that's not the same person you are now. Tell her how you learned from your mistake and you aren't planning on making that mistake again so she doesn't have to worry about that happening to her.

After you tell her that, then all you have to do is show her, by being a stand up guy and not breaking her trust.

I hoped this helped and good luck