Expert: Sam E - 8/12/2007

Question
while we were dating, my ex would accept expensive gifts from a male co-worker. we were in a same sex relationship.we are females. i with a daughter. this guy sent her expensive long stemmed roses on valentines day. gave her chocolates on valentines day. gave her this huge expensive gift basket on V day.. yet she says he was only a friend. a co worker. she and i only fixed up her back yard. and we did bar-b-que- there a lot. but never went out. she always turned me down. yet, he was allowed to wine her and dine her. took her to expensive restaurants. they even went to shows. if i said anything, "i don't understand this!!" she would EXPLODE in rage."You are my girlfriend! he is just my friend!" yet, emotionally he got more. is there such a thing as cheating emotionally and having intimacy with someone other than your partner?

Answer
I think there was certainly more going on than what she said and the defensive is a HUGE red flag. Secondly, if she had any respect for you or the relationship, she would have invited you to go along and would have steered clear of anything that looked like she might be having an affair with this guy.
Since she is your ex, than all I can say is, you made a good choice in leaving her!
Sam