Expert: Sara - 6/3/2005

Question
Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been dating and living together for almost 3 years.  We have an amazing sex life, and our relationship is awesome.  I trust him, he trusts me, etc.  We've had threesomes and hooked up with other couples before as well.

Now, the 'wierd' part.  It turns him on immensely to think of me as his 'slut', or his 'dirty girl'.  It turns me on as well, a lot!!!  This has progressed to the point where he suggested that I sleep with other men and come home to him 'dirty.'  I love this too.  

We have no problem with this, and don't really consider it cheating, as we're both open and honest with it, he knows exactly what goes on with who, and we set our ground rules, ie: no kissing, no hanging out, only sex, etc.

Now, I recently told a friend of mine and she freaked out, calling me gross and slutty and a freak.  And she was one of the ones I considered to be open minded.  

I guess my question comes down to this...  Is what I'm doing unhealthy?  Am I a freak?  Do you think I should stop?

Answer
Hi there Jen. In no way do I think you're a freak! Just because one of your friends isn't as open as you and your boyfriend are, doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you.
I've been studying sex and the human relationship for some time now and I don't think there's anything I haven't heard of! I was infact just watching a show the other night about a camp help once a year for couples who "swing". It was also a nudist colony. It was really interesting how open these couples were with each other. Maybe finding something like that for you and your boyfriend would help you feel more comfortable with who you are. If you can find a group of people in your area who experience the same things then you'll find that you will be much more comfortable about your sexual appitite.
If you're having problems finding groups in your area, write me back and let me know exactly where you are and I can see what I can find for you.
Good luck!!
Sara
P.S. Never shy away from who you are no matter what others say. You will never be happy with yourself if you continue to believe what others say. Just do what makes YOU happy!