Expert: Sam E - 5/3/2007

Question
I've know this girl since we were 10. She was my first crush and puppy love girlfriend. At 16 we hookep up and became a couple. I did so much for this girl, went through so much to make her happy. After almost three years of dating she cheated on me with her friends cousin. I tusted her so much but one day something kept bugging me about the her. I knew something was wrong. I checked her messages and found out she was cheating on me. After confronting her instead of appologizing she just told me that I didn't take the hint that she didn't want to be with me anymore. This is tottaly out of carachter for her. Needless to say I went through a deep depression and also found out she started dating the other guy the day after she broke up with me. It's been almost six months and I can't get over it. We started talking again and she still seems a little different to me. Almost a little angry at times(not usually at me). It hurts me so much to know that now she's only a friend and she's out with some other guy. Everything about this situation seems so surreal. How can I start dealing with the fact she's only a friend now? And what can I do to stop question why all of this happened to me? I can's stop thining about it and I get more and more confused everyday.

Answer
Well there is not much you can do but get over it.  I know it's hard but you are the only one keeping yourself from moving on. You have to realize that she is not coming back to you and that it is over. No mattter what you say or do you can't make her love you or want you back. I don't think you have really accepted that. She doesn't want to be with you as a boyfriend and it sounds to me like she may not even want to be your friend much anymore either. Her anger is probably from you not moving on. You may be pushing her or acting to "soft". She has no  understanding as to what this has done to you so therefore she does not care how you feel. I suggest you not even be friends with her for now. Maybe sometime in the future but for now cut all ties.
You are going have to stop thinking about it. You have to make yourself refocus every time you dwell on it.
Life does go on and I promise that you will move on when you finally let yourself. Than you will find the girl who is truly meant for you!
sam