Expert: Sam E - 8/10/2007

Question
My beautiful, smart, intelligent daughter,25, has been involved with a 38 year old married man with one child for over a year.  As smart as she is, and as much as she tries to hide it, I still confront her about the lost cause, etc.
She continues to say that she doesn't want this, but I know she is still involved.  I want to face this creepy guy who I've met and personally confront him and tell him to stay the hell away from my daughter. He is old enough to know better and she is young enough not to care or know better. I am also at a point where I am tired of her lies and her lack of applying better judgement. What should I do? I want to withdrawl from her until she sees that ahe is hurting EVERYONE, from our family to the other family.

Answer
I know how feel but confronting him is only going to backfire on you. At 25 she can make her own decisions and although this a really bad one, you have to let it be.
If you keep at it you will only push her away.
Putting her out of your life completely is not good either. Could you bare to shut her out of your life because of a bad decision. A decision that will eventually come to a disastrous end?
You will have to let her live her life and make her own choices. As hard as it will be, let it go.
She is your daughter and this not worth ending your relationship with her. Give advise when asked and hold your tongue all other times. You and I both know what will come of this affair. She needs to learn these lessons so it does not become a pattern for her throughout her life.
This is one of those deals where you have to let it be.
Feel free to write back anytime,
Sam