Expert: Sara - 5/27/2005

Question
This is going back sometimw, but it's still affecting me a great deal.

Background.
Last year, I ended up in in trouble for something that involved a guy putting a gun to me and forcing me to act under duress, That was all well and was excepted when it went to court, but the English justice system decided to send me away for burying my head in the sand and not telling anyone about it and due to the nature of the offence, they had to send me away for 10 months. Wrong, but i had to except it nonetheless and take whatever positive from it.

I had a lovely girlfriend before i went away and we broke up midway throught this because of the effect it was having on us, much too difficult.

Now:
When i came out I got suspicious that something wasnt right between my dad and my ex, they were acting secretive of sorts. I know something was wrong. The way my ex-gf spoke of him just added to those suspicions. She was acting overly protective in the same mannaer a girl would stick up for her boyfriend in my opinion.

Few months ago my dad gave me his old phone and when I put my simcard in the phone. I found 47 Messages that the phone had saved from my dad to my ex-girlfriend. These messages are on the topics of sex/love/relationships. I had my evidence that something had gone on for there topics of conversation to get to that level. A good mate of mine also told me he was suspicious that something had gone on before I had found these messages, after i found them. He told me that he'd found similar messages on my ex girlfriends phone of the same context dating back to only a few months after i went away.

The problem I am in now is that, everyone knows i know except my dad and my ex-girlfriend. All my mates know, half of them became her friends through me after i went away and now they cant bebothered with her at all. Trouble is it doesnt matter how many friends i talk to about it. I just cant seem to get it off my chest and feel i really need some sort of explanation about all this from my ex and my dad. I really don't know how to deal with this problem and need some advice on getting this problem in the open were i can feel better for doing that. Can u please advice on some sort of direction I should take?

Regards David

Answer
Hello David. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I think it's best that you leave this girl alone and let your father worry about her. You don't need the stress of dealing with a girl who would do something like this to you. I think that you need to move on with your life and let the past be the past. It's time for a fresh start. If your ex wants to deal with your dad then fine. It's her choice and you can't help that. You need to find someone who you can trust and who will be there for you. I'm sorry to say all of that but I believe it's true. You don't need this unwanted stress. Just enjoy your freedom and live life to the fullest! I promise you that you'll find someone better who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated! Good luck to you David.
Sara