Expert: RITA - 7/20/2004

Question
My live-in boyfriend of 3 1/2 years has been putting up with me for the past year becasue I always take his love for granted.  Four days ago, he decided that we should go our separate ways but is now having second thoughts because of my constant begging.  
Yesterday, he confessed that he flirted with a girl at a club about a month ago and then went on a date with her and "made out" (no sex) two days after our big fight broke out two weeks ago.  I'm so confused because I've always told myself that if he ever cheated on me I would leave him without hesitation.  But I can almost understand how angry and disappointed he was at me at the time the cheating happened.  Not that it gives him any right, but he was truly lost and had pretty much given up on me.  Besides, I did something similar just over a year ago.  Not as bad though. I flirted with a guy at a club and was passing lemon wedges from mouth to mouth.  My BF did forgive me.  
Am I a fool to draw a line between "making out" and sex?  Becasue if he was to have slept with the girl I would leave him in a heartbeat. But then I don't know if I can carry on with him and not think about what he did.  And he also told me he enjoyed the experience at the time but is very sorry now.  How do I make sense of all this?  Please help me set my mind straight!  

Answer
How can you condemn your boyfriend when you yourself say that you flirted and passed lemon wedges between mouths with another guy!! Come on give the guy a break, and quit being so shocked that boyfriend wasn't at home crying and carrying on for you when you two broke up...after all you were broken up and he could have been with anybody he wanted to be with...at least he was honest enough with you and came out with it instead of you finding out from someone else. Two wrongs don't make a right...dearie, and what goes around comes around as they say...Just get over it and be happy...sheesh!!
Take care:)