Expert: RITA - 9/30/2004

Question
okay...heres the deal...we got together and i knew he was cheating and hell I cheated on him
((I didnt have sex I just made out w/ someone))but that was only one time & anyway he slept w/ his ex fiance, my best friend, and 3 other girls...I talked to him about when it happened & he only admitted to sleeping w/ my friend then last night I confronted him about it & he admitted it to me finally..I know it was a long time ago & I knew he was cheating then but couldn't prove it and since I also didnt want to believe it I convinced myself I was just being crazy...now I know but we decided a long time ago to take things slow and work things out again...things were great until last night..I told him this was his only second chance and he has proven to me that he put all of that behind him and I know he can do it b/c I used to be the same way.....but now there is something wrong and I cant figure it out....lying in bed w/ him last night was weird...I dont know what to do..give it time or give it up ? do you think if people really love each other that there is a way to work through these things by taking time and slowing regaining trust back or do you think its a waste of time ? I dunno...I was just hoping for an opinion...alsoI called my friend last night that had slept w/ my boyfriend and I said please tell me the truth about everything that happened between you and my boyfriend and I know she is unhappy w/ things in here life and she doesnt like me anymore but she was saying how he told her he hated me and all of this and I'm thinking maybe thats why I feel weird w/ him now is b/c all of this is on my mind...do you think that I should believe that...I mean I know she was enjoying making me cry the more she told me and I think she prolly turned things around a little bit (( not saying its not his fault either ))...I talked to him about it and everything but I just cant get it out of my mind

Answer
Sometimes we ask questions not really wanting to hear the answers, huh? And that's whats eating at you, knowing all the little details of what he did, and with whom , and how, ect. ect.
These truths will always be in the back of your mind, it's just how much do you live in the "here and now" and look ahead to the future....with or without him.
You yourself say you were the same way, and did you change?
Just take your time with this, because you will heal from this.
take care