Expert: Don - 7/11/2007

Question
i was online one day and found that my partner of almost a year had been still surfing online for a booty call after we had started sleeping together, we had only been dating a month when it happened and when i looked at his msn history, it appeared to have only not happened because the girl was a distance away that night. we had not had the "are we exclusive" talk yet and soon after that i met his parents and we had our talk. when i looked at his msn history there appeared to be no more illicit talks after that time. since then we've moved in together, talked about marriage, this all came as quite a shock because i've since asked him if he dated anyone when we were first dating and he always said no. He has not had any conversations online in the manner he had before and I believe he was scared at the time as he had shared these feelings with his family and although he's 28, im now the most serious hes ever gotten however i really need to know if i need to suck it up and get over it or whether theres something i should do...thank you for your answer
maria

Answer
You should get over it. It's a non issue, for one it happened before the two of you even became an official couple or decided to see only each other exclusively. So he didn't do anything wrong at the time he had no obligation to you and was free to sleep with whomever he chose.

Also why bring up something that happened a year ago, bringing it up to him won't change the fact he talked with her, it's already been done. So why start a disagreement or an argument about something that happened so long ago, especially when it did nothing to hurt your relationship.

It's time for you to forget the pass and focus on the present in future. Because like you said he isn't doing anything now and you appear to be happy together, why risk your happiness over something that happened so long ago.

Just forget it and work on keeping the relationship the two of you have now healthy, let the past be the past and move on.

I hope this helped and good luck.