Expert: Sam E - 11/1/2006

Question
One of my friends and I had sex a few times.  Shes been with her partner for 5-6 years, and their relationship was on the rocks when we got together.  I feel bad about what happened, and my conscience is telling me to tell her partner about it, because my friend has been lying about it.  I know if I do that, their relationship will be over.  She basically broke off our entire friendship, and wants nothing to do with me, whether it be from a feeling of guilt or not im unsure.  I know regardless of what I do our friendship is over, so it's not a revenge issue, I just feel bad that the person shes with has no idea.  Should I let it go and just forget it ever happened, or should I tell her partner about everything?  I don't want to 'ruin' her life, and I know that she has to live with what she did and the lies shes been telling, but its eating me up knowing that shes doing it to someone she supposedly loves.  I'm just totally lost about it and I want to do the 'right' thing, but I'm not sure there is a right or wrong thing in this case.  Help!  

Answer
I think you should NOT  get involved. If she is lying and doing horrible things to her new lover, than it will end on its own soon enough. If you told, it may not end their relationship and you will look like the bad guy! I have seen it a hundred times! She could also totally lie about it and make it look like you are this psycho who is jealous. It’s not worth all the trouble. Just move on and let her bury herself.
Hope this helped,
Sam