Expert: Don - 5/31/2007

Question
Hi. I have really a hard question to you, because its being on an affair. I have been with my ex-girlfriend for about 2 years now. We broke up about 2 weeks ago. We had a long distance relationship, but even that we got a lot of memories together. We used to meet every weekend, and all i had to do is to trust her. But the last times (since february), i saw a kind of coldness in her. So we started arguing, and always she told me that everything goes fine, the only problem is our communication. I tried to believe that, and wanted to change things in me, so stoped being possesiv, jealous and controlling in same time. After 1 month of calmed situation i found her cheating on me with her ex (with whom she used to break before 2 years after a 4 year relationship, and as i know, the last year between them the relationship was dead, she didnt loved him anymore, and in the same time she didnt wanted even kiss him). Actually i dont know what she found so interesant in him, to get back to him. Sweet words can be so... ??? Anyway, i broke up with her. To realize that she was cheating on me, I used to write her an email making her believe i was her best best friend, asking her how the things between us are going. She responded to that mail and i used to read her mail, and there was everything written black on white.
I told her that i know everything, told her about that mail, and she was very angry, because i made her fool believing that it was her best friend writing to her. It was a bad break up, and i used to shame and lay into her because she lied me. After i left her, i was so stupid to send a message to her ex. That was too stupid, but my mind was totally out of control. Now im very aware of the fact that i dissapointed her more than one time. Reading her mail, making her fool about the mail, sending the message to her so-called ex, dumped her... And im aware of the fact that because of all these dispointments she cant talk to me now. Somehow, we are both angry to eachother. I used to write her a long mail, telling her that im sorry and im aware of all the wrong things i have done after the breakup. I wanted to meet her in somehow, but she send me a message telling me "after all the dissapointments from what you did, i dont know if i could look in your eyes again, and i dont know if this will happen".
Now i realized how much i miss her, and that i still care and love her. I tried to be in contact, sending her messages and mails. I know she saves, prints and reads everything i sent to her but she never responded me. I guess she waits for such mails and things from me, but its not ready to talk to me.
Recently, i told her that i was in her city waiting for her to talk about the things. She responded with a simple message "dont wait for me, i wont come. i need time for this. take care!". I dont know but i think this is somehow a way to say leave me alone. On the same time, i think she really needs time,because of the bad breakup, and all the bad things i have done after the breakup. Now my question is, is there any way to got in contact with her (mails or whatever) and talk about our relationship, because i really dont want to loose her. She is too important to me, even what she have done. Should i go for another try (sending messages or mails, which im afraid will be boring to her, even she keeps reading all the mails i sent) or should i back off for some times and make things go slowly so she finds time to think about the things (althought she does not have so much time for this, because she is making fun now in somehow), or should i leave and move on even if im still in love with her?

Answer
I know it's probably hard to let her go, but you need to take the hints she is giving you and do just that.

Think about it, she doesn't want to see you and she doesn't answer your letters. She doesn't want to be with you anymore.

The sooner you accept that fact and move on the easier your life will  be. It's over between the two of you, go out and find another girl and leave this girl alone. She doesn't want you anymore, you have got to understand that