Expert: Don - 4/25/2007

Question
QUESTION: I gave a friend of mine my girlfriend's number while we were broken up. I didn't think he was capable of sleeping with her. He told me about 2 days ago that he slept with her. We had gotten back together. She said she found out i was the one she wanted to spend her life with and have kids with. After he told me he slept with her i quizzed her and she tried to deny it then after more probing she told me she did sleep with him. i feel bad. she said she never knew he was my friend or knew me. she gave him head (she wouldn't even give me head ...and only did it once then stoped doing it ever again). She slept with him at her house. On her bed. She say's after kissing etc he lead her upstairs. She slept with him while she was babysitting and there was a 5month baby in the house. I really love her. i want to take her back but knowing the fact she slept with my friend i feel hurt. i've known this friend for years and everytime i look at him i'll think of the guy who slept with my girlfriend. if i take her back i have to cut off communication with him. her mother hates me. her best friend hates me. But she loves me despite all that. i insulted her on the phone and now the number has been turned off since yesterday. i feel like going to her house to talk face to face but i don't want to. After she turned off her phone she called my friend asking for a lift to work. He was with me and she didn't know. I didn't hear the phone call but that's what my friend told me. what should i do?...i really love her more than i've ever loved any other girl?
ANSWER: I know you love her but I think you should break up with her and move on, because she isn't very trustworthy. First she lied to you about sleeping with your friend. And second I can't believe that she is to upset or heartbroken about sleeping with him, if after the fact she is still calling him and asking him for lifts.

This leads me to believe that she would still like to have something going on with your friend. I mean look at the facts, she even gave him head when she wouldn't even do that for you and you are suppose to be the man that she is in love with and wants to spend the rest of her life with. That's absurd that she would give a new guy head and not you.

She wants your friend and not you. Leave her.

Good luck and I hoped this helped

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Yeh but what happened after she came back to me, she came back saying she 'finally know's what she wants'. Other things for you to note. She didn't know he was my friend. Okay fine she gave him head and slept with him on four different occasions. The time she slept with him we were on our 3rd breakup, more or less shaky grounds coz we were having problems. How did i fall soo deeply in love with her. I don't like this. Should i never talk to both of them again. My friend i've known him for years and we know the same people. I know he doesn't want her for a long term relationship. what do i do?...please give me a definate answer after reviewing everythings i've written. This girl is very hard to find. Buy's me things, cooks for me, give's me money, and she's in love with me. If i asked her now, today, tommorow 'do you love me' she would say yes and really mean it, you can see it in her eye's. Am i just a sucka for love?

Answer
Okay even if you give her the benefit of the doubt for having sex with the guy while the two of you were on a break, how do you explain the fact that she is still asking the guy for favors despite the fact that she knows you were hurt by them sleeping together. What kind of woman continues to be friendly with a guy she banged after she has gotten back with her boyfriend? Now answer that for me.

Also what is going on with your friend, even if she didn't know he was your friend, that guy had to know she was your ex because you said he got her number from you. Now what kind of friend is he to bang your ex-girlfriend.

I say dump them both and call it a day.

Or get back with her but don't be shocked when she cheats on you again. You are acting like a sucker for love