Expert: Anika Rynn - 9/13/2006

Question
I am a white man living in venezuela married with two children. In the factory I work in there is a black girle 16 years younger than me black, separated with one black 6 years old boy. I like so much but my problem is my wife get noticed I go out with this lady. I give her small gifts  even the other day I took her to the theater with her son but she never tells me "thank you". I would like to kiss her, to make her love but without compromisse. My problem is that according to one of my 5 psychiatriast I am a litlle bit paranoic and extremely jelous, and vulnerable, and get in love inmediately. Two years ago I did the same but with a con-woman who fooled my love I destroied my heart. Due to this con-woman I spent more than 2 million bolivars (1000$) in psychiatrists)tring to get heal a depp depression...I looked the picture of my 6 years doughter to avoid to comit suicide. I do not know what to do with my personality structure. The psychiatrist adviced me to get extra relations but with prostitutes who never would desequilibrate me emotionally.The kid is I like so much this lady but she never give me any signal of love.
please give me your kind advice
thank you

Answer
Hello Aurax, I'm thinking if you feel it's worth taking the risk in being with this girl, than you should be with her. It is up to you if you wish to continue seeing her without your wife knowing. It seems you want her to express some kind of emotion and feelings towards you, but I was wondering if you had shown her any signs of emotion. I think you need to tell her how you feel, tell her you have developed feelings for her. If she reacts positively you will be able to have a caring relationship with her. When you tell her how you feel make sure not to be too forward but still get your point across. I hope that works, E-mail me again and tell me how things go.