Expert: Sam E - 8/11/2007

Question
Ok here goes.  I'm in the military and met my fiance 4 years ago.  We were together the first two years and everything was great.  She then moved to another state while I was overseas.  She called me within 6 months telling me that she kissed another guy.  It was a one night incident and she told me that's all that happened.  I was hurt but forgave her.  She is the love of my life.  We got together about 5 months later and everything went great.  I moved again overseas and everythings been great.  We've been engaged almost a year now but i just found something out.

She lets me read her emails because her family will send me messages on there as well.  She has been spending a lot of time with guys and I know one in particular who likes her.  I have never met this guy but have learned this through what my fiance tells me.  She says they are just friends.

She has now left that state and returned home.  We have less than a year left to be apart and we plan to get married.  I checked another email account of hers today and found a note she wrote to that guy.  She has been home for 5 months now and has told me she stopped talking to him.  The letter says that they talk every other day; hence she has been lying to me.  I confronted her about it and she said she kissed him 2 or 3 times right before she left.  She Has told him she just wants to be friends but he doesn't want to believe that.  I love this girl with all of my heart and told her that I forgive her, but I can't let it go.  I can't live without her and want this to work.  I'm not worried now that she's living 1000 miles away from this guy, but should I be worried about a new guy.  I have 10 months left over here and I'm wondering if I should be worried?  Thanks for any advice you can give me.

Answer
First off she has been lying to you for a long time about this guy so you really cant trust what she says now.  Also, she really can't even be friends with him. She needs to end all contact, Period. If she doesn't, you need to wonder why?
If she cheated before, there is some reason to be concerned. If she starts to act different, or lie about where she is or who is is talking to, you need to worry.
Sam