Expert: Don - 7/15/2007

Question
hi don, i am a 29 yr.old mother of two. i am a fulltime nursing student and currently a LPN. in January 07 i meet what i thought was the man of my dreams. oh the first 2-3 months were fabulous!! the sex was amazing i mean fireworks everytime!! i dropped my so called cutbuddy of 5 years and every other man that tried to come on to me i ignored, when i meet this man cause i wanted to fully focus on us. now let me let u in on a little about my past i have never had a man that i could call my own they were always known as "SPECIAL FRIENDS"!! the man i am currently in a relationship with was single, recently out of jail, no kids, no drinking/smoking/partying, drop dead gorgeous so of course i had to scoop him up because he seemed as if he was "THE ONE"!! when we first meet we would cry when it was time to leave each other and if more than two days went by we had to make arrangements to see each other to make it thru the week. did i mention that we are in a long distance relationship of only 35 minutes!! we recently came back off of a trip and he told me that he had not only cheated on me, but the girl thinks that she is pregnant!!! when he told me this i didn't react!! i didn't know what to do!! i wasn't hurt because i simply didn't believe that this was happening to me!! he said that it was a mistake and of course he claims that the girl knows that he is with me!!! he said that he was gonna ask her to get rid of the baby but he couldn't make any promises!! i being a mother and a non-believer of abortions told him to man up and take full responsibility of his child cause i wouldn't want anyone to tell me to have an abortion. he asked me not to leave him because of this because i was who he loves and wants to be with. we are engaged after being together for 7 months now!! he has taken me thru alot in these 7 months than any guy that i have dealt with!! i am truly in love with this man and i know that i should leave him for his infidelity but thats always easier said than done!! i am depressed and hurt!! somedays he seems as if he cares and somedays he doesn't! my question to u is would i be a fool to stay with him and try to work it out and pray for change or should i pray for strength to move on!!

Answer
You wouldn't be a fool to stay with him, sometimes people simply make a mistake. I know a lot of people say once a cheater always a cheater and honestly most times that is the case but not always. So my advice for you is this, if really love give him another chance, just make sure it's the final chance you give him.

If you think he's really sorry for what he has done, and he won't do it again then it doesn't make you a fool to give him another chance, you only become a fool when you give him chance after chance after chance. Just make sure you tell him that yes you are giving him another chance but it's his last, if he cheats again or hurts you again, you have to leave him.

So give him another chance just make sure it's his last.

I hope this helped and good luck.