Expert: Don - 7/5/2007

Question
QUESTION: I was very much in love with a man who cheated on me the years we were together and left me for the other woman. When he dumped me I didn't know about the woman, so I just wrote him an email saying how much I would miss him and goodbye. Now months later he replies to my last email  randomly and says how much he misses me and loves me. What the hell!??! Why now after all this time has passed.

So in your experience what do you think happened. Things between her and him didn't work out and he realized he made a mistake? Feels guilty about how he treated me, etc.

I am still very sad about what he did to me. I trusted him, and he treated me like that. I try to avoid both of them but I see them together downtown sometimes, and when they see me they smirk and sneer. It really hurts. I am so sad :(

ANSWER: More than likely from what I have seen in my work is that things probably aren't going that great for him in his new relationship and now he feels bad for what he did to you. I guess he figures if he trys to tell you he loves you and misses you, he might be able to get back together with you.

If I were you though, I would ignore him and her. When you see them in public act like they don't exist. Don't reply to his e-mail or even think about getting involved with him again.

There are plenty of other guys out there, it's time for you to find one that knows how to love you and treat you with respect. Go out and have fun and find a new and better man.

I hope this helped and good luck.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Yeah the last couple months he has been inviting me out to events, he plays in a band with his buddies and he invited me to their concerts, he invited me out to dinner a few times, etc. I didn't go to any of the events but I told him I missed him and he told me he missed me very much too. But him and that girl are still together.

Anyway now I have transferred to another state because of my job, he knows I am like 2000 miles away from him, and yet now he emails me writing this stuff? I think him and her are still together. Why does he write me this stuff months later knowing I'm so far away?

Answer
Just because you are 2000 miles away doesn't mean that he still wouldn't like to get closer to you in the future. He might be just staying with her in the hopes you'll take him back.

Or maybe he feels guilty about what he did and just wants you to like him and not be upset about what he's done to you in the past.

I still wouldn't pay him any attention, though, take advantage of a new life in a new place and start over fresh. Leave your old life behind especially him.