Expert: Bruce D. Frank - 11/12/2007

Question
I met him in 2004, he had someone pregnant, she said she would terminate, she didnt. Now he has a child with her and we are deeply in love and we move in together, ( with my 2 kids). As the baby grows and he comes to see her she tells me that they are together, having sex and so on, but he lives with me. Ofcourse he denies. Everytime we fight, she says the same thing. I catch him at a resteraunt with another women while i am 8 months pregnant with his son, he also talked on the phon w/ her. I see a text from another woman while  the baby is  weeks old, been talking on the phne w/ her. His ex girlfriend from out of town phone number began to pop up. And after that I told him I couldn't take anymore, and there has been no more, for the past year. The baby mama is always trying to argue and fight with me but she never says she's with him anymore, and we just got married a few weeks ago. He's good to my kids and his own, but when the other kid comes over he gives her sppecial treatment and we have been arguing over that again, I just think that its hard to trust him around any woman even his childs mother so when he gets her we fight. What do you think?

Answer
I think you need to get over the issue with the child.  The little girl has no say in the matter.  She may remind you of her mother, but she is not her mother.  If he is in fact cheating, that is something that you and he need to get straight.  Once you know that he is not cheating anymore, then it will take some time for you to get over it.  If he is not cheating, then you have to be convinced.  That will take some effort on his part.  It is very unfortunate that kids have to get in the middle of adult issues.  Forgive the kid for her mother and move on.