Expert: Don - 10/11/2007

Question
QUESTION: Hi,

I went on a date with this guy. During dinner, he was telling me stories about all these girls stalking him. Saying that he can't go anywhere without girls breathing down his neck and wanting a piece of him. He said he has 10-20 girls calling him a week wanting him and that they are all sexually harassing him.

He said in college this one girl who was stalking him and obsessed with him had slept outside his door and when he woke up the next day, he opened his door and he heard a loud THUD. The thud was his door repeatedly smashing against her head because she was curled up sleeping in the fetal position and her neck and big head were blocking his way out, and that he had to crack the door against her skull a bunch of times before she woke up. Then she ran inside his apartment and came after him with a pocket knife and he had to call the cops on her ass and they took her away to jail. Now all her friends stalk him and want to have sex with him and his phone rings off the hook but he keeps refusing. He swears I'm the only woman he wants.

We went to see a movie, about romance in the ghetto, and in the middle of it he started screaming at the screen. He yelled "yeah that's why all of them are getting shot, that's all the people in the ghettos do, its just a bunch of black people shooting each other." Then to make matters worse, the theater we were in was in the ghetto too, and had bullet holes in the seats. The back of my seat fell off with a crash and he screamed again. Everyone behind us was like SHHHHH!

The movie showed a white guy dating an asian girl and he yelled out loud "that's so cliche! white with asian, jeez im sick of seeing this cliche shit"

..But wait...he's White...and i'm Asian...and he's dating me? Hmm...I'm confused...?!?!?

Driving out of the movie theater, he backed up into a brick wall, then knocked over 3 trashcans trying to pull himself out of parallel park, finally we were back on the highway.

It's been a couple weeks and he hasn't called me. That's weird, I thought we had a connection?

Ok- should I go out with him again if he asks? or just run away from this guy, is he insane?

ANSWER: He not only seems insane but he also appears to be a racist. You should be happy he hasn't called and if he ever does you shouldn't even speak to him. The guy appears to be some kind of nutjob, stay away from him. Go find some guy who isn't insane.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Well he hasn't contacted me for weeks, so that's the end of him. Thank god and I hope to never see his face again.

But here's what I'm confused about.

1. You know what's weird, he plays guitar in a band with a black lead singer and an asian drummer. He has been with these guys for 7 years and has been best friends with them for 15 years. plus i'm asian too. why the fuck is he dating me then? I dont understand how he can say this stupid racist shit out loud? when he hangs with all these people?

2. And what was the deal with all the other women? was he trying to be a player?

...or is he a cheater who probably sleeps around, and girls are stalking him because CHANCES ARE, he probably slept with them and dumped them, and now these girls are all pissed that he is ignoring them?

Answer
Maybe he feels because he hangs out with black or Asian people he can say whatever he wants and not be accused of being a racist because he has black and Asian friends, still his comments about blacks and Asian were inappropriate and insane.

And the deal with the other woman, I don't know, did you even talk to any of these women or hear them talk, maybe he has a friend call his phone over and over so he can look like a big deal in front of you, or make you jealous. Or make it seem like you better do whatever you can to make him happy or he'll leave you for one of those other women. There is no way that many women will stalk one man though, unless he only dates crazy women, an average woman isn't going to stalk some regular guy.