Expert: Sam E - 7/27/2007

Question
Hello,

I am a virgin and the guy I was dating was not, although he definitely knew I desired him very much. I thought he was the man I was going to marry but turned out he was a total scumbag. He was cheating on me with 3 other women the entire time we were together, since I was not giving him sex, and he ended up coldly dumping me for one of them. That woman had a boyfriend back home, so they were basically just hooking up for sex.

By the way, it's not that I did not ever want to have sex with him or anything like that, I was just waiting until things got more serious with him to become intimate.

However, the entire time, he never made any moves on me or pushed me to have sex in any way, and he was always very gentle with me. That's why I was surprised when I was dumped, but then I found out the real reason. And now that he's dating her, he's having sex with another 4 different girs now. He is quite the player.

Do you have any idea, if he was just on the prowl for sex anyway, and did not seem to want a girlfriend, why did he bother trying to build a relationship with me when all he wanted was hookups and one night stands, and also why was he so gentle with me and why did he never push me for sex if that's all he really wanted?

Thanks

Answer
He was obviously not into you and for some reason, kept you believing he was. Now why he did, I couldn't say? Maybe he was looking to score with you and soon realized that you were not going to give in. He cheats but keeps you thinking he's into in hopes that you will have sex with him. If he pushed you, you would have caught on to him.
He also sounds very immature and not ready for a commitment.
He was not going to treat you bad or you would have left him. That's why these guys are called players, they play so well and can have anyone conceived that they really care.
Take the lessons learned from this and be aware of these type of guys in the future!
Sam