Expert: Don - 7/13/2007

Question
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, he didn't something a year ago that hurt me deep, and I don't know how to deal with it I feel I cant trust him, he is also abusive and im having a hard time ending it, he makes me feel sorry for him and why or how he does i don't know. well this is what he did, he had this 16 year old girl working for him, I left one day at 5. went home tried to call to say goodnight he wouldn't answer the phone or e-mail, so I went to bed. I got up at 7am had an e-mail from his e-mail address and it was that girl, she was in his home at 2am in the morning. well I call him to ask him why she was there in the middle of the night and he said she locked her key in the house and needed to make a call. so I understood. then I went there an was on his computer an I pulled up nude photos of her that he took, it just about killed me, then I find out he took her to get some sex drug call X he says that he was getting me me and him, I told him I would never do something like that and he knew it. He tell me that nothing happened and that he never touched her, she just flashed her tits and he snapped a pic, still he is telling me nothing happened and that he has not and would never cheat on me, but to me he did, and it hurts and I cant trust him, plus the fact of her being the age that she was really bothers me why would he do something like that? what do you think? what should I do?

Answer
I think you are very naive if you actually believe that your boyfriend and that 16 year old girl didn't do anything that night. And he just happened to has his camera out when she decided to flash him.

First off a 16 year girl should never have been in your boyfriend's home at 2 in the morning, and he definitely shouldn't have been buying her or taking her to get any kind of drug. Something definitely happened that night and more than likely your boyfriend had sex with her.

My advice is you need to break up with him, why would you continue to be with a man who you can't trust, who is abusive to you and who lies to you? Why is your self esteem so low that you won't open your eyes and see that this isn't a healthy relationship that you are in.

I think your boyfriend needs some kind that he is spending time with a 16 year old girl and taking her to buy drugs, those are two things a grown man shouldn't be doing.

And you need to help getting away from him, stop feeling sorry for him and start feeling good about yourself. You need a change because their is no point being in a relationship with a man that you can't trust anyway, all that does is cause you stress.

It's time to move on.

I hope this helped and good luck