Expert: Don - 8/23/2007

Question
SO, Ive been married for close to a year..but i dont think im in love with my husband anymore. I definetly love him but there just isnt that googly feeling anymore..We have a 4 month old son together..and we were married 9 days after I found out i was pregnant. So, we had alot of change..he treated me like crap when we dated to say the least but now he is mr. perfect. I dont know if part of me just wanted to "win" and wasn't thinking straight but either way now we have a son together. My ex the one ive always been in love with send me a message saying congratulations when my son was born it escalated from there..and we talk like atleast once a day about random things. He tells me he still loves me and wants me to be happy, I def feel that feeling when i look at him. Ive only seen him once in the past year and I was just like yes, this is where i need to be. It was in a group situation at a cookout and nothing happened besides a hug. I just dont know what to do, Im thinking of telling him to just cut off all contact and see if i miss him but its been close to 7 years and i still love him i dont think he is going to go away anytime soon. My poor husband, i feel so bad...i wish i could just love him and forget my ex but its not that easy. My husband doesnt help me at all with our son, expects me to do everything. He isnt involved with my family and he just recently stopped drinking for me. Hopefully that will last, but what should i do..im hurting..because i lay my head down and think about my ex.

Answer
I'm pretty sure you aren't a serial cheater, seeing as how you haven't technically cheated on anybody yet.

If you are so unhappy with your husband and feel that you would have a better life with this other guy, then get a divorce or separation from your husband and see what life would be like with this other guy as the man in your life.

But make sure it's the right choice before you do it, because once you leave your husband for him, chances are you can't ever go back to your husband, so make sure you really love this other guy and that you aren't just in love with the memory or the good times the two of you use to share.

If you feel what the two of you have is real, then leave your husband life is to short to live it unhappy.

I hope this helped and good luck.