Expert: Ini Obong - 5/19/2005

Question
We've been engaged for 4 months, and exclusive for a little over a year. He is a Marine I'm a working woman in the corporate world. Things are usually amazing between us, then he went on his first deployment to Cuba. We talked daily, and kept a good solid long distance relationship...or so I thought, he left for Cuba in begging of February. I recently found emails to other women that he had been responding to, and not in a friendly way. Saying things like I miss you, can't wait to see you to these other women etc.. I have now confronted him, and he has apologized profusley. Stating he wasn't thinking, he never meant for this to happen, he can't believe he was so stupid etc.. My question, do I savor this relationship, or is there no coming back from this. Can a man really truly prove himself to be trustworthy again after such actions?  

Answer
Hi

Its a always a rude awakening when you find out you have been deceived by one you trusted. You need to have a large heart to reconcile.

You must realise that only very few guys come out clean when caught. Others would either lie and rationalise things or they would use aggression to intimidate you.

Try and save the relationship by expressing your hurt and demand better conduct from him. As you go on in the relationship, you need to use your sixth sense to establish what he wants from the relationship even after everything he has told you.

Wish you all the best.