Expert: Don - 9/19/2007

Question
I'd like to get the whole "will she cheat?" concern off my chest with my gf and am willing to test and risk even our relationship. Why? Because if she cheats then it's not worth having anyway and if she doesn't cheat then it is worth having. It's my way of knowing she won't cheat. I believe the trick is, if she doesn't cheat I cannot let her know that I "tested" her because, go figure, she'd probably actually cheat then. But then, who is to say that if she *didn't* cheat from the "test" that she *wouldn't* cheat in the future? At least "passing the test" is some means of comfort.

I read some tips you recently provided on how a girl can test, basically, her bf to see if he'd cheat.

You mentioned to:
..."For one you're going need an attractive female that is willing to help you out. It has to be somebody he doesn't know, and all you have to do is find out a place he is going be at a certain time, and get her to go there and flirt with him. Get her to try and get his number or her to give her number to him. Chances are if he asks for her number or takes a number she's giving him, he'll go further. If that isn't enough proof for you get the girl to actually go out with him on date and when they go out just show up at the place and confront him to his face. There is no way he could deny something like that."

I like to think of that in a reversed scenario:
..."For one you're going need an attractive male that is willing to help you out. It has to be somebody she doesn't know, and all you have to do is find out a place she is going be at a certain time, and get him to go there and flirt with her. Get him to try and get her number or him to give his number to her. Chances are if she asks for his number or takes a number he's giving her, she'll go further. If that isn't enough proof for you get the guy to actually go out with her on date and when they go out just show up at the place and confront her to her face. There is no way she could deny something like that."

The trick is... well, it seems a lot easier for that "test" to play on a girl's bf with an attractive female. Maybe not, I don't know? Could I successively do that test with my gf with some attractive male?

We know men and women don't think alike. We also know that men and women *do* think alike at least to some extent - though so many deny it, in both directions - but to what extent? Basically, how can I test my gf to know if she'd cheat in some way other than that mentioned above (and other than the envelope+pictures method)?

Thanks!
-S-

Answer
Women are harder to trick, the attractive guy picking up her up in a bar, more than likely will not work, because a woman isn't going to just fall for a pretty face like a man will, I'm not saying it wouldn't work at all because some women will fall for a pretty face, so it is still worth a try.

With a woman, your best chance to follow her one day, you just have to come up with a day and tell her that you'll be busy all day and there is no way the two of you can be together, this will give her a chance if she is cheating to go see whomever she is cheating with, without fear of her being caught, and then you just follow her and see what she does.

My only thing I have to ask of you, is why do you think she is cheating anyway? Has she done anything suspect or is she even acting funny. Don't ruin your relationship over you being scared, give her the benefit of the doubt before you think she is cheating, before you get caught trying to catch her cheating, when she isn't and end up ruining your relationship for nothing.