Expert: Don - 9/22/2007

Question
Me and my boyfriend have only been together 3 months. But he is an awesome guy and so is his family. We have fallen head over heals for eachother. He lives in Daytona I live in Miami. But he is always here. If he goes home to Daytona it is only for a couple days maybe one or two. The longest he has ever left has been for a week 2 times. And I have been up there twice to see him. But anyways.... My Ex did me so dirty. And it hurt me really bad. I just don't want to get hurt again. I have a feeling that my boyfriend may be cheating though. He has not done anything crazy or noticeable but I just get a weird feeling. It makes me so sad and I just want to cry but I have been holding it in. It is really effecting me so much. I don't know what to do. Please help me. Should I just ignore it? Or ask him? I don't want to question his loyalty for I think that may make him cheat. Sometimes I think all men are cheaters and I should just be single. I don't want to get hurt or catch a disease. And I always ask older men that are 40 and up if they have ever cheated on someone they loved and they all say yes. And most are cheating on there current spouse. Almost all have told me that all men cheat. They just cant help it. It just happens. I am only in my mid 20s. While my parents were married my dad was a super loving faithful man and I take after him. But I seen how my Mom acted like she loved him in his face but was cheating on him behind his back. And he was so loving paid for all the bills and a great father. What can I do to make sure that this doesn't happen to me? Please it is tearing me up inside. And I am just not happy mentally.

Answer
I think that your paranoia is going to ruin your relationship. Despite what all those men have told you, not every man is a cheater. Just look at your father for an example, your father has proven to you that some men can and will be loving and faithful to their wives or girlfriends.

You need to ignore all the outside people and just focus on you and your boyfriend. If he hasn't given you a reason to believe he is cheating, then he's probably not cheating, so until he does give you a reason to think he is cheating, you need to trust him and not accuse him of doing so. Because if you do accuse him and he isn't doing anything, he's going to know you don't trust him and that is never good for a relationship.

You have to remember that every single person is a individual and is different from everybody else, just because some men you have talked to cheated on their wives or girlfriend, it doesn't mean that your boyfriend is like that, and as long as he treats you right and doesn't show any signs of cheating, you need to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust that he isn't doing anything wrong.

Because as long as you distrust him, your relationship is going to be hurt, learn to accept the fact that you have a great man and he's there for you, before you make a mistake and end up losing him.

I hope this helped and good luck.