Expert: Sam E - 1/23/2007

Question
I’ve been with my boyfriend now for seven years.  Everything was great.  We always wanted to be near each other.  When ever we had fights we were able to sit down talk it through and end with an “I love you.”  We were the couple that is so in love we nauseated single people.  
We have lived together for a few years now during which time I discovered one of his hobbies is looking at porn (a lot of porn) and he is a chronic masturbator.  It didn’t bother me at all since we had a stable loving relationship where we could talk about anything.  Why deny the man I love his sick little pleasure?  
I accidentally stumbled upon some sexual pictures of him on my computer this last summer.  He said that they were for himself.  This sounded dumb to me at first but I trusted him so much I believed him.
About a week ago I found an online profile that he had set up in order to exchange these sexual pics with others.  He crossed the line when he involved other people in his little habit.  I was completely devastated.  I confronted him immediately.  He said he only did it to get the pictures of the women and he was required to provide pics in order to get pics.  I know this is a lie considering the plethora of pornographic images you can get for free anywhere on the web.  He said he only did it a few times and everything stopped when I found the pics over the summer because he then realized how wrong it was and how important I am to him.  When I asked him why his last profile log in was from today (the day I confronted him 5 months later) he couldn’t explain.  
I think this goes deeper than he says it does.  I have this constant paranoia about our past also.  Since he is in the military we’ve spent a lot of time apart (probably 3 years total.)  Since he did this when we were having sex on a daily basis I can’t help but wonder what he did when we were apart.  I’ve been going through the computer constantly to find any trails.  In my search bar history I see things like “meet me for sex” and “prostitute.”  His excuse was he was looking for video of a prostitution sting operation that someone told him was funny.  I think this is a lie too.  I feel like I will never know the truth.
I told him to get out but he came back after a couple days and now he won’t get off my couch.
I don’t know whether or not to call it quits.  I’m totally confused.
I consider myself to be a very smart person.  I’m graduating college with high honors and on my way to becoming a CPA.  I feel absolutely horrified that my perception of reality was so false.  This came out of nowhere and I’m completely shocked.
He has begged for forgiveness and said he wants nothing more that to make things right.
What should I do?


Answer
Move on! This would have kept going on and on if he did not get caught. You see, he is sorry because he was found out, not because he was doing these horrible things and lying! If he was truly feeling awful he would have stopped and even told you.  
Greg Behrendt (relationship expert) wrote this about a cheater: "If anything, finding out that he's a liar and cheater should make getting over him a hell of a lot easier than if you were still holding onto some memory of him as this amazing perfect guy. So you misjudged his character or he turned out to not have any. Who cares? Wash your hands of this guy for good 'cause he sounds dirty. Yuck"
Kick him to the curb ASAP!
Breaking it off is hard but staying will be 1000 worse for you in the end! No one deserves to be lied to and cheated on!
Write me anytime!
Sam