Expert: Bruce D. Frank - 10/15/2007

Question
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we bought a house together and had everything we wanted. I then found out he had been cheating on me for a few months and we split up, he got with her, but was coming to me saying he had made a mistake and asked to come back. We got back together and are now trying to make a go of things but im finding it really hard trusting him, i find he is very vague when i ask him where he is going, or gets snappy. I checked up on him when he said he was going football trainin and like he said he really dd go. But im still finding it hard to trust him. Am i wasting my time?

Answer
You are not wasting your time.  You are going through real pain.  In order for you to get over it and totally forgive him, you must fully understand the pain and be able to wrap your head around it.  You will never forget, but you can forgive and trust.  It will take time though.  As time goes by, you will feel a little better every day.  It would help if he were completely open with you and made you feel like you made the right decision.  The main thing that you must do is decide if this is something that you can deal with.  Are you willing to put your love on the line for this man.  If you believe that he does love you and will never do this again... go for it.  If you are not sure, then you must follow your feelings.  Look into all suspicions; but, remember, if you look you must be willing to deal with what you find.  Good Luck.