Expert: Drea Jean - 4/28/2006

Question
Hi i got one more question. I wrote you a couple of days ago about my ex who went back to her ex and used me while she was waiting to see him. So here it is. I cut her off. Earlier this week she flipped out on me about telling all of my friends about what she did. i never did that. She Waited a few days and this morning when i woke up, i found a text waiting for me from her. it read " sorry for my message on myspace. i freaked out for no reason. but i really do just want you to be happy. just know that. please keep doing good and take care of yourself." I read that and damned near laughed! In my head, if she wanted me to be happy then she wouldnt have lied to me, used me, hurt me, and then kicked me when i was down. What i see is, she wants to feel better about what she did, by apologizing to me. Or she wants to see if i will text back so she can see if i am still ready to be with her and so we can work everything out and "hook up" again until she goes out to live with her ex. Thats what happened everytime before. I think the first one is more likely. I have not texted back. and if i did, it would say something along the lines of you are full of crap leave me alone. but i dont want to do that cuz i want her to wonder what and how i am doing. #1 How off track am i about what she may be thinking, texting me. #2 I should probably leave her alone, shouldnt I? My guts tell me to. What are your thoughts on the matter?

Answer
Hi Eric,

Yep, I remeber you, and thanks for the Top Expert nomination!

Your right on track with what you are thinking. She is eihter feeling a little lonley, and trying to get back with you while she passes the time, waiting for the other guy, OR, she may feel like she wants to smooth things over with you, so if she needs to get back with you cause Guy 1 doesn't work out, she can. She's trying to not "burn any bridges" so to speak. Smart women always have a back-up plan, and you are hers.

Now, remember, it could work out with you guys, if you want it to. But that won't happen as long as she is even still thinking about Guy 1. So keep that in mind no matter what desicion you make.

I say go with your gut. If it tells you that it's a bad idea, and to just stay away from her, then do it. But if you cared about her, and still do, even a little, your gut reaction might change the more you think about it.

It's not an easy desicion to make. You could be setting yourself up for more hurt if you start back with her again. But for alot of us, when these things happen, we are also afraid that if we are too stubborn, we may miss out on a good thing because we are afraid of being hurt.

What I said before still goes. If you get back in, be prepared for her to do it again, and always keep it in the back of your mind. And if you stay away, revenge can be sweet. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you, gut instincts are usually the best.

Good Luck, and Thanks again! Keep me posted!

Drea Jean

Was this post helpful? Rate It!