Expert: Sam E - 12/13/2006

Question

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The text above is a follow-up to ...

-----Question-----
so , i was common law in tx with a woman for 14 years most bad ...we are (too )different if you have heard that expression ...3 wonderful kids and we had decided to see other people for a while ...
my story takes palce in real time ....so this has all been whithin the last two months
so i meet a girl , half my age ...yea me im thinking

because at 37 this is what we all want ...right ...lol
sex is good , girl is nice , young and refreshing in my life
i needed it more than the corvette at this time

anyway she ..the newer woman  has this fixation of writing certain things on her body
and she is always telling me werid things about wanting to die ...

so natural i am trying to back away slowly then she decides to let me inside her head ....

the whole story is really long and drawn out so i will not get into it here
more or less she has written most of her horrors down on her my space page , then let me read it

i didnt know exactly what to think of what i had read so i talked to my best bud

he knew what it was that was bothering her , he had a relitive with the same problem.
she has  Paranoid Schizophrenia.....

i read alot about it ....and i want to help her ...really
she is soo young and all she want is the voices to stop ..

it is really sad
i read i cannot confront her , i cannot try and "prove her wrong "
i do not talk to her now , its been a few days

what can i do to help

her family is not in the picture
-----Answer-----
She needs to want to help herself. You can’t do anything for her.
You can suggest to her that there is help available and that if she truly wants this to stop she needs to seek help. There is medication that she can take as well as very intense therapy.
This may also be a case of someone suffering from another disorder known as borderline personality or personality disorder. A lot of people who suffer from this do very bizarre things in order to gain attention. Many will even fake multiple personalities or even suicide.  I also would not rule out the fact that she is young and many young people nowadays are into the whole dark side theme.  The  person will really get into this whole thing of being crazy and abused.    
To many of us it seems too far fetched to be made up, but it is.
For most people who are suffering from disorders, it is not publically announced (myspace).
In fact, I have worked with many different types of people and those that were truly suffering from Schizophrenia (in any shape or form) did not display it to the world. Many had no idea they even had a problem and those that did, needed treatment and where not able to function in the world without medication or even being hospitalized.
You see people with personality disorders will study different types of disorders and claim them as their own, but somehow they are still able to function when they need to. They are very convincing to the layman.
In any case this is not something you need to worry about.I suggest that you stay away. You have children that you need to think about and you don’t want to get caught up in all of this. It is not fair to them or to you.
This is not what you need in your life right now. Trust me!
Tell her that there is help and you are willing to take her to wher she needs to go. She most likely will refuse or try more tricks to suck you in. She may claim that there is nothing or no one to help.  If this is the case you don't need to walk away, you need to run!
Feel free to write back anytime!!
Sam




i have run away from it , just wondering what i could do to help ....the my space thing was not meant to be public ...itis in a private blog to herself ...there are quite a few ...8-10 going back a few years ...

she really ,truely beleives she has government implants in her head and they are watching her and filming everything she does .....i wish we could use that tech for catching bad guys ...lol

the whole death thing may be just a attetion thing , ive thought that .....

if you ...or a pysch. could actually read a few pages of the in depth details she goes and the horror that is her life ...i can truely feel her despair.....she talks about the death  as a ways out of the government tests and films ....

thats all she blogs about anymore ...how everyone is out to get her and film her and rape her ...i know i cannot get too close for many reasons ..kids being at the top of the list

i just want her to live and enjoy a life with some sort of rational sleep at night ( i have seen her stay awake for days ..no drugs , because she fears sleep ..she sets her alarm clock every 20 minutes at night to make sure she is still at home ......etc etc )  

Answer
I know how you feel, but sometimes we simply have to walk away. If she is not willing to seek help there is no way you can help her. If she is truly suffering from a disorder than you can’t help her. You can encourage her to seek help, but that is all. You can't take this burden as your own. It is too much.
You can’t get too involved in this because it will only hurt you. It really tears at you to watch someone fall into an abyss and you can’t stop it, I know. You can tell her that there is help  but she needs to seek it.
If she is really believing this stuff than even if you try and tell her it is not true, she will not listen. You will only be wasting your time and hers. Her reality is not rational so trying to make her think rationally is impossible. If you think she is getting worse and she refuses to seek help you can call people a mental health facility and ask what you should do. She may need to be forced into treatment for her own safety.
I would love to read some of her blogs. I too have a myspace account but if her profile is under private I can’t read them. Perhaps it will give me more insight into what is happening.
If you would like me to read it, reply back with her myspace address  or copy her blogs and send them to me.
Sam