Expert: Pamela Enders - 12/2/2009

Question
My 18-year-old son told me last night he'd signed up for cheerleading in university (here in the United Kingdom, 18 is the legal age to enter university). We were happy he'd found a hobby he liked as it had been hard up until now convincing him to have a life outside of studying; he is doing excellent academically.

However, he told us he had something further to reveal - he'd asked the instructor if he could wear female cheerleader outfits, and said to the instructor that it wasn't a fetish or crossdressing or anything like that, and that it was just to fit in with the group and not have to have separate uniforms due to gender issues.

He told us the instructor was open-minded enough to accept anyone, and allowed him to perform this way.

We were shocked and worried he'd be the victim of bullying - but he's insistent he won't be, and told us this does not make him a crossdresser. He told us this doesn't mean he's gay/bisexual either.

Should we be worried about bullying in this new interest of his - is bullying in cheerleading a common thing, or rare?

I'm in two minds here - one I'm pleased for him (and my husband is), the other being worried about ridicule/harassment.

What should me and my husband do about this?

Answer
Dear Joanne,

A young man wearing a female cheerleading uniform is setting himself up to be harrassed.  So, yes - he will likely be bullied and ridiculed.

I can't imagine any cheer coach allowing this. There are many males who are cheerleaders; many of them are superb athletes but none of them would wear a uniform designed for a female.

Perhaps you could talk with the cheer coach and see what he or she really thinks about this situation.  I, like you, worry that your son will be hurt if he goes through with this.

Dr. Pam
Pamela Enders, Ph.D.
http://www.confidentcheerleadingblog.com
http://www.confidentcheerleading.com