Expert: Pamela Enders - 3/6/2009

Question
Hey i am 13 years old I've tried out for cheerleading in the the grade and i did not make it because i was to stiff and didn't have time to practice and every time i think of cheering it makes me want 2 cry and sometimes i do cause i cant move it move it like the others girls do. What shall i do

Answer
Dear Daneshia,

It sounds like you are having some really big feelings!  When this happens, it can be overwhelming because it’s hard to sort out what all the feelings are.

The first step in getting a grip on the feelings is to slow everything down and take a big step back.  So…I’d like you to exhale as slowly as possible 3 – 4 times.  Go ahead…exhale s-l-o-w-l-y…that’s right.  By slowing things down you’ll be able to think a bit more clearly.

Okay. It’s not clear to me if you are going to try out again or not.  If you are, it’s a good idea to plan way ahead of time.  You will need to slow down, get all the info you can from the coach about what the requirements are and then make a plan that includes getting instructions on how to make the moves you will need for tryouts. This takes time and dedication.  You said you “didn’t have time to practice” the last time you tried out.  Well, no wonder you didn’t make it!  It takes lots of time to develop skills!  

Many cheerleaders do not make it the first time but they do the second or third time.  If you really want to be a cheerleader, find a coach or an experienced cheerleader to talk to in order to find out what steps you need to take to prepare to be a cheerleader.

It’s not unusual for a beginner to be stiff and not move well.  Flexibility and clean, crisp moves take time to develop.  Are you willing and able to put the necessary time in to develop these skills?  It cannot happen overnight.

True, some girls are naturally gifted and they make it look easy but even they put in many hours of training and practice.

I can see your heart is broken because you believe you will not be able to be a cheerleader but again, I’d advise you to get some honest feedback from someone reliable like a coach to see if this is true.

You also might want to examine WHY you want to be a cheerleader.  Is it to be popular?  Is it to be part of something fun?  Is it because you love your school and want to express your school spirit?  If so, there are other ways of getting all that!  You might ask the cheer coach if he or she needs an assistant to help out.  You might look to join other sports teams or a school club or a music or theater group.  Maybe your school has a pep club or a spirit club you could join. All of these are opportunities for you to be part of something fun, to become known and popular, and to develop skills.

I know it seems like your feelings will never change but I can guarantee you they will but you have to be willing to assess your situation honestly and be open to other options.

Good luck to you and please keep me posted.

Warm regards,

Pamela