Expert: Dorothy H, LCCE - 5/4/2009

Question
Hi, I have a couple quick questions about my first pregnancy... 1. Does labor
hurt as bad as it looks on tv and what people tell you or are they exagerating
some? 2. I want to have a natural birth and this may sound dumb but I was
told that their is a possiblity I could have a bowel movement or urinate while
I'm giving birth, is that true? 3. Can my vagina tear or rip while I'm giving
birth? 4. When would I start showing? 5. How much money a year would I
have to spend for my child, just for the necessities, like diapers, bottles,
etc...? Thank you so much!

Answer
Hi Ashley,

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Here are some brief answers to your questions:

1. Labor feels different for every person - some people feel more pain than others. Childbirth classes and preparing for labor can help labor to be much more manageable.

2. Sometimes that happens, and if it does, it's a little tiny bit.  You won't notice it, your partner won't notice it, your nurse will take care of it quickly and without anyone seeing what happened.

3.  Sometimes that happens too.  There are things you can do to minimize the chances of that happening - a childbirth class or the reading I suggested above would be helpful.

4.  Every woman is different. Most women start showing around 3-4 months, but some women don't start showing until 6-7 months.

5. That number can vary greatly depending on if you are breastfeeding, whether you need daycare, etc. Babies don't "need" a lot - they need a car seat, safe place to sleep, clothes, and food (breastmilk or formula) Everything else is nice to have, but extra.

I am going to suggest a couple of books to read that should help you overall with preparing for your birth:

The Official Lamaze Guide: Giving Birth With Confidence by Judith Lothian and Charlotte DeVries

Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein

There is also a book available online for FREE that has a lot of great birth stories that will help you gain confidence as you prepare for your birth:
Journey to Motherhood by Sheri Menelli  http://www.birthingbusiness.com/Book/InspirationalBirthStories.pdf

If you are already pregnant, I would strongly suggest that you take a good childbirth education series; that will answer a lot of your question and help you to get more confidence about your birth.  You can go to www.lamaze.org to find a Lamaze class in your area.

I hope this helps and I do strongly encourage you to start reading and educating yourself so that you have a lot of confidence and knowledge going into your birth.