Expert: Vanessa - 5/6/2002

Question
I have noticed that a lot of the relationships here in China are right on the borderline of prostitution. It happens so much: Older man has good job, wants younger woman as a trophy. Younger woman smells this, and they start a relationship.

There was one of these such girls in one of my classes tonight. She was saying that she liked older men (in their mid 30s, though she is about 22), and when I told her that it was because they had money, she couldn't deny it and keep a straight face. It's a good thing that she didn't understand the words "concubinage" and "borderline" because it fell out of my mouth that that is what the relationships were. A lot of the girls have boyfriends that are 35 years old or so.  One of my Level 1s has a boyfriend that is about that age.

There are SO many men in this country compared to the number of women (approaching 118 men for every 100 women as of my last read, mostly attributable to sex selective abortions), but I find that the younger guys don't have girlfriends. They say that they are too hard to find. But when I meet older men, they all have three or four girlfriends. And this is because they have money.

You speak good English. Have you ever lived in some English speaking country? And, do the Chinse girls carry this "concubine mentality" with them to other countries as I would imagine?

And don't give me one of those: "It happens in other countries, too" answers, because I have NEVER seen anything like this, and this is the 17th country that I've been to. And there is nothing to compare it to.

It is explained to me that families here think of profit as the reason for having children. And male children generate better income than female children, BUT female children are needed to reproduce. So, it's a difficult situation. Most people think of women as financial liabilities, but the women here behave in such a way as to earn that title. But the question is: WHY?

That should be enough for today.

LPM

Answer
Hello Lemas,

Sorry for the delay of the reply. I think you really ask me such a complicated question that I don not know if my answer can satisfy you.

First I admit that Quasi-concubinage does exist in China, but I believe, and it is true, that it is not the common living way for China women.

I have not traveled to other countries; even never leave the province I live. So I will not compare Chinese women with those in other countries. Here, I am glad to offer my opinions about this question for your reference.

You know China is a county mainly depend on agriculture. About 80 percent of the population is farmers. In the past, the productivity was very low. Without advanced tools and techniques, people had to work by hand. Normally, men often are superior to women in physical strength and quality. So, to a family engaging in farming, the birth of a male child means an increase in the family labor force. Compared with the male child, the birth of a female baby implies an increase in the number of the family consumer.

In addition, Chinese people only think the male child as the formal successor of the family blood.
So, once a family has no male child, the family will ¡°die without offspring¡±. You may find that all the Chinese dynasties are ruled by men - except Emperor Wu Zetian, the only women emperor in our history. The emperor never passed their throne to female successor, even when they have no male child.

Because the reason I have said above, Chinese people have a special favor to male child.

But, I should note here that now, man and women share equal rights Now. Our country also set many laws to protect women. Female children are sometimes more welcome in some families since they are more obedient than boys.

Although now women share the same rights with the men, in some respects, we have to admit that women still are inferior to men. For some girls, they hope to spend a luxurious life (in fact, all of us want to) but do not want to work. So, they ¡°sell¡± sell themselves. Generally, the men under 30 years old have no stable business and are so poor that can not afford the luxurious life for these girls. So, those mid-aged men, normally wealthy, become the target of those girls. Most the ¡°target men¡± are married. But with the time march on, they gradually find their wives are no longer beautiful, or young, or romantic. So, they decided to find a beautiful young lady to remove the vacuity in their heart.

This is my understanding about this question. Hope it be of help!