Expert: Sir William - 11/8/2011

Question
Dear Sir William,

I'm looking for a good (clean) joke i can tell my chinese girlfriend. She's a native to sichuan (Chengdu), and she said chinese people have a different sense of humour than us british people.

My joke was: What is a chinese person's favourite fruit? Mandarin! (i made that up, but she still didn't think it was very funny!)

Do you know of a good Chinese joke i could tell her? I'm not really sure what chinese people like. By the way, we are both 18, but she lives in China at present.

Thanks for your time!

Ryan

Answer
Good morning, Ryan,

Thank you for your email.

"Heard at the Coroner's Court for the death of ex-Chinese President, Deng Xiaoping:

Judge: Did you recall the time that you examined the body?
Coroner: The autopsy started at about 8 PM.
Judge: And Comrade Xiaoping was dead at the time?
Coroner: If he was not dead, he would be dead by the time I finished autopsy.
Judge: Before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Coroner: No.
Judge: Blood pressure?
Coroner: No.
Judge: Breathing?
Coroner: No.
Judge: So, was it possible that Comrade Xiaoping was alive when you began the autopsy?
Coroner: No.
Judge: How can you be so sure, doctor?
Coroner: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."

(Note: Mr Deng Xiaoping came from Sichuan)

I hope you and your lady-friend will enjoy the joke.

Sir William