Expert: Meg Jordan, PhD, RN - 6/15/2010

Question
i dont wana go into it because i know that exploring it will give me a taste, and its one of the rare moments where its not present.

but it is in facing reality where i overcome it

so it hit hard me during a couple of hallucinogenic trips. to the point where i pretty much 'was' the feeling.

it often hangs out to a greater or lesser extent in my chest. for example i notice it now as a slight tingling

feels like a knot of energy that is somehow 'wrong' and does not FLOW with the universe, instead serves as a filter between me and the universe. i got the realization a few days ago that the resolution of it may lay in following it like a compass to wherever it leads me. in any case, running away from, or hiding from it, is something i no longer want to do. i want to face reality head on.

the buddhist way of bringing attention to it and accepting it does not seem so serve me and is not intuitively correct. the chakra clearing meditations, etc, all seem too surface. i feel like something powerful needs to happen if it is to be jutted.

possible avenues?

some of the info on energyenchancement.org struck a chord. also chackra blockage rings a bell. unreleased emotions from the past maybe.

i dont feel like its part of me but is something i carry

i feel like its an anchor pulling me down toward 'succumbing' and in a way draining me of life... sometimes it is so present it's like a wall between me and the world. sometimes it is a vague reminder, and sometimes it is moderately present, giving me adequate space to function while still being in the way and not giving me the room i need.

when it is highly present, it is completely the filter through which i view everything. it seems like there is no point of doing anything, and no joy for me in the world. seeing others engaged with each other only provides nostalgic sense of longing for the ability to have that connection. it's like i've been taken over.

would love to hear tips on where to go with this! i am tired of laying down and believe a no compromise solution can be reached where i am fully alive again at all times.

if there is a way out i am determined to find it. i am tired of being disconnected from life even for a second!

-mike

Answer
You're describing a complex somatic psycho-energetic sensation that could be approached in multiple ways: biomechanically, first making sure it's not bones, muscles or joints; cardiovascular, making sure your circulation is adequate; neurologically, making sure there's no nerve damage or impingement. If all that is ruled out, then you could do some energy psychology such as Emotional Freedom Technique (available on the internet for study) or interactive guided imagery with a psychotherapist to access more information about resolving this since it seems troublesome to you. You could also contact the Spiritual Emergence Network and talk to the therapists who are skilled at diagnosing rising kundalini states which could have been trigged by your entheogenic experience.  You'll find them on the web, and they also consist of well trained clinical, licensed psychologists and MFTs.  Good luck to yo. You're obviously on a healing journey.  Hang in there!  Meg