Choosing the Right College/Lost
Rather than a question,I just needed someone to listen to my thoughts.
I am a final year med student with 10months of study left.we have five year medical programme but ever since the first year my interest kept declining and it worsened with subsequent years. The fact that I lived in a dorm only aggravates things.I've had suicidal thoughts for 2-3 years but I have better control of my thoughts now.I talked to my family regarding the stress medical put me through but the financial cost and the time spent would make them helpless and they'd convince me that it things will work out with time.
Tomorrow I'll be leaving for college after prep leave and I didn't study a word for the preliminary exam due after two days.I wish I could be more productive and like what I did but its a black hole and this new year is already making me feel that time is passing quickly.
Thanks for listening
ANSWER: Dear Adir,
I can only imagine the distress you must be going through. It would be very helpful for you to immediately seek out professional help to assist you through this difficult time. I work with students that want to get into medical school, but many don't understand the level of stress.
I hope you will see someone soon and I will hear news that you are successfully working through this rough period.
Do you have someone you can talk to in person?
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QUESTION: Thank-you for the quick response.My family is very co operative but I guess trying to constantly tell that I am stressed makes it less believable somehow.Recently my brother became very worried because of me as I only told him my actual thoughts whenever I was down but a few days ago on my visit home I saw the effects of my worry on his face and i've stopped telling him or my mother anything.
I hope those children who aspire to be MD students actally enjoy the study and Not just a fantasized white coat version of superman because I've begun to believe that this world doesn't need more doctors,engineers or business graduates,we need more happy people,people who are happy just working part time jobs in bakeries but feeling peaceful at the end of the day
ANSWER: I see. Your words are very true, and I do remind students that they are choosing not only a job or a career, but a lifestyle!
There are also strong cultural forces that are involved and thus must be considered.
Adir, I hope you'll find peace and happiness.
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QUESTION: Dr. Can I ask you how your university experience was or anything you would advise your 22 year old self
Interesting question. I was a strong student in high school, went to UCLA for undergraduate education as a "premed", meaning I was interested in pursuing MD. It was my first time living apart from parents and I didn't handle the newfound independence very well. I attended classes sporadically and spent far more time playing basketball and socializing than studying. I struggled tremendously, my grades suffered and ultimately after three years I was dismissed from the university! It was the first time I saw my father cry. He is normally the angry response but something was different that time. Anyhow, I spent the next two years working and experiencing "real life". I didn't like it so I went back to school and changed major from biology to psychology because I became interested with the human brain. At that time neuroscience didn't exist though we did have psychobiology, but I wanted to stay far away from anything related to biology! I found my passion in motivation and memory, hence teaching became a wonderful career path for me. I am very grateful that I was able to discover my interest even though it was "later". I graduated with my BA at 25 yrs old and have managed to "find the purpose for my life". I was born in South Korea so was familiar with Budhhism so thus began my journey to seek out answer to the "big question" by exploring all the different religions...not only did I find the answer I was looking for but I also had a full time job and even met my wife! I became a father at 30 yrs old, again at 33, then again at 39! As a father of three children, and someone who was late to find my career, I like to think I did okay. I completed my masters degree at 32, and completed my doctorate at 38. Most importantly, I have fulfillment and peace. I know you'll find yours too as long as you continue to search.