Expert: Georgeann duChossois - 9/6/2001

Question
Hi Georgeann,
I am another AllExpert "expert" in the area of OB/Pregnancy. Now I am in need of a little "expert" advice myself!
My question is about my youngest child. Ryan is 17 years old and I am concerned about how to help him find some direction for his future. My oldest was easy, she is a senior at Barnard and is already planning grad school. My middle child went the vo-tech route and is still "finding himself". Both of those kids I can understand and support, but my youngest is a unique creature.
He was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 years old, he has been different since birth! He has not been on medication since middle school. It didn't seem to be helping him academically and he was offended to be treated "differently" so we stopped it.
He has not done well academically but in his extra-curricular life he can be amazing. When he is interested in something he can do anything. I started to type some examples and realized that I could go on all day...if it would help you to know more about my son to answer my question please email me and I will tell you anything that might help.
Ryan is a senior at a magnet school for students who do not do well in the traditional classroom environment. This year he is also attending the Hartford Academy of the Arts in the afternoons which he achieved by audition. Since his high school has classes only in the afternoon (interships in the morning) he will be taking some classes at the community college at which his high school is located. He took a sociology class there last semester and got a B.
His guidance counselor has told him that he has a chance to go to a four year college. This with a GPA that is so low it is hardly worth mentioning.
My son insists that there are schools that will take him based on an audition and an interview (both of which I am CERTAIN he could impress them with).
I have 3 college degrees myself. I cannot imagine ANY college taking a student with a GPA lower than a 2.0 under any circumstances.
Am I wrong to think that my son has no chance of going to a four year school? I brought home a catalogue of 2 year schools and my son was offended. I am thinking that he is living in a fantasy world.
Do you have any advice or suggestions for me as to how I might handle this with my son? I do not want to discourage him, he is bright, articulate and confident. I truly feel that when he finds his place in the world he will accomplish all that he sets out to accomplish. I just want to help guide him toward that eventual end.

I apologize for the length of this question. Thanks in advance for your time.
Karen Ianacone
mailto:djianacone@snet.net


Answer
Karen,
  Sorry you didn't hear from me sooner I was away for the weekend. It sounds like you've been dealing with a large amount of information and opinion....some of it useful and some of it not!  While your question is a complicated one, let me try to construct a helpful response given the info you've provided.
  As far as some schools that will take him based on an audition and/or interview, that's probably true.  However, these schools come in two varieties.  There are colleges who will take anyone with any school record just to generate tuition $$$'s.  They are usually really poorly run and their students rarely stay long.  There are also a small handful of colleges who will look beyond a student's record if there are other extraordinary talents or strengths.  However, these are very rare and the student's unique talent must be truly exceptional (I'm thinking of a
kid at NYU who barely passed high school because he was busy running his own $20 million dollar internet business or the football star whose SAT's are conveniently overlooked.)  But these are so rare that, in my opinion, it is unrealistic to rely on this.  
  A really positive factor in his situation is his grade in the college-level Sociology course.  I would encourage him to continue taking such courses as a way of demonstrating his 'beyond high school level' abilities.
  But it seems that the crux of your question is how to deal with his 'unrealistic expectations' re: acceptance to a four-year college.  Can you arrive at a compromise with him?  He can prepare of list of a certain number of 4 year colleges that he feels he wants to apply to and you agree to submit applications to all of them even if you don't necessarily agree with his choices.  (In this way, he has to do some research about schools and may discover that it is harder than he thinks to find a school who will be willing to consider him.) BUT, he must agree to also apply to a certain number of schools on YOUR list (which may include 2 year colleges).  In this way, he gets some input and gets to see how many schools on his list will accept him.  But you have the piece of mind of knowing that you have back-up schools in place.  It also takes away some of the confrontation - instead of you having to be the one to say "I don't think they'll take you."  
  Also, at the larger bookstores, there are a couple of books in the college search section on non-traditional college searches and 'colleges for kids who don't want to go to regular colleges.'  Maybe both you and he will want to take a look at a reference like that as he starts his list.   
  I hope this is somewhat helpful.  Any college search is a complicated process - sounds like it's time for your son
to start to look for specifics so he has a more reliable picture of what might be out there for him.