Expert: Mel and Guyna Horne - 11/22/2006

Question
Hi. Thanks for reading and taking the time to answer my question. I've been struggling spiritually in regards to this question and it has really been effecting my behavior. I'm praying God will give you wisdom from His Word for your reply. My big question is: What does God the Father think of me when I sin? I'm thinking of this from a Father/daughter perspective. I know he still loves me and he hates my sin, but does he still think everything about me the same when I'm being as 'good' as I can be and obeying Him? Am I still His little girl, precious in His eyes and does He still delight in me? What might you think is going on in His thinking when I go against Him?  Ok, now I'll tell you the main area of my struggle in regards to this question. Junk food...chips, pop, candy, sugar drinks, really greasy food, fast food, etc. You get the idea. You're probably wondering how this is related to my question. I'll explain. Growing up, my dad was very dictorial and we did not have a deep relationship with him at all. He cared about certain things about my life (all the things I could care less about then) like learning to be a good worker with a positive attitude, dressing modestly, eating the right foods, and other things of this nature. All of these have stuck with me and have been an issue of constant stress, guilt, and being judgmental towards myself and others. I over analyze things in these areas (dress, work and food). Lately I've been driving myself crazy in the issue of food. I have felt in the past that God is leading me to totally cut out all 'junk foods' from my diet. But I just can't do it, so I'm left with all the guilt and feeling like a failure. Would God ask me to do something like this? I feel like God doesn't accept me anymore when I eat junk nor does he look at me the same until I confess it to Him and say that I'll try harder. I feel like He's angry with me and wants to hit me upside the head (this is really what I want to do to myself). I hardly ever buy any junk food (accept an occasional cheetoes - my favorite) but whenever it ends up in the house I struggle constantly wanting it but refusing myself. Or, to the other extreme, I'll let myself go way overboard and pig out on it. This is really driving me crazy!! I believe the core issues are: #1 not knowing how God views me, possibly not understanding His unconditional love for me and #2 not knowing how to interpret the 'voices in my head' that tell me it's wrong to eat junk and if I do I will be deliberately sinning against God. What do you think?

Answer
Hi Rachael,

You are welcome.
 I realize the current attitude it that anything that is not totally organic, fat free, sugar free, beef free, tuna free, low salt and tastes like cardboard is the only thing that is good for you, but going to that extreme is not right either.  There is nothing wrong with an occasional, totally without any nutritional value, snack.  (bg)

God has given us free choice and He expects us to apply this gift to all areas of our lives, including food.  Remember Adam and Eve in the garden?  God gave them every imaginable plant to eat from in the garden.  There were probably even coco beans there!  And can you imagine what a fresh, organic, fully ripe peach must have tasted like?  Especially before man started messing with the plant DNA so that the peach would ship better!
God gave them free choice and all this wonderful food to eat and they, with Satan's influence made the wrong choice with the one thing that God had told them not to eat yet.  It wasn't that He didn't want them to have the fruit ever, God just wanted them to wait so that He could teach them what they needed to know first.  Adam and Eve chose to ignore what God had already taught them and eat something that wasn't good for them at the time.

And even though your Dad may not have known how to show you that he loved you when you were young, he was trying to prevent you from doing something that wasn't good for you at the time.  It sounds like he understood that junk food wasn't good for growing bodies.  But even though he was trying to do what is best for you, he either forgot or didn't know that even at a young age you had the gift of free choice.  At least I'm assuming that this is the case.  From what you have written it doesn't sound like that your dad explained why a steady diet of junk food was bad for you or that you were given a choice.
God loved Adam and Eve and obviously didn't want them to make the wrong choice but he allowed them to do so.  God was obviously very upset and hurt that Adam and Eve chose to follow Satan instead of living God's way, but He still allowed them to make the wrong choice.
Just as an aside, this is why the world is in the state that it is now.  Humans have always had a choice, to live God's way or not and in most cases humans have always chosen the wrong path.  The world is the way it is because we (humans) throughout the past six millenniums have made the wrong decisions.

You have a choice to make now.  You can take the examples that your dad tried to teach you, put them into perspective and apply them to your life or you can continue to allow the incorrect teaching methods to rule over your life.

Without going into detail, my childhood was a bit rough.  My parents decided that my siblings and I had to eat everything on our plates.  If we didn't want to eat something then we sat there until we did.  It didn't matter how cold the food got or how long we had to sit there until we ate everything.  
When I had my son I remembered all the things I hated as a child and tried to teach my son differently.
Instead of making him eat something he didn't want for what ever reason, I asked him to take just one bite.  If he still didn't like it after he had tried the one bite then he didn't have to eat it.  I allowed him to make a choice about whether he liked something or not and he learned to try something even if he didn't like the way it looked or smelled.
And rather than having a meal turn into a battle ground it became a place to try new things.

You can't change your past but you can choose to make things better for yourself and your family.  And be patient with yourself, God is.   God doesn't expect you to become perfect (complete) overnight so you shouldn't either.
Pick one problem at a time, ask God for help and work on that one problem.  Depending on the problem, it may take just a few days to correct or it may take years.
Parental baggage can take years to overcome even with God's help.  God doesn't point out all our flaws at once and expect us to change instantly.  We can choose to change that fast, but He allows us that choice and provides the necessary help in order to make the change.  But we have to be honest with God and with ourselves in order to see what needs to be corrected.
And feeling horrible and guilty about making a mistake is natural and can help us realize that we need to repent.  But continuing to feel horrible and guilty over something is just what Satan wants us to do.  As we continue to ask God for help to grow and change we become more confident and brave.  God wants children that are learning to stand on their own two feet.  He wants children that he can trust.  He wants children that can make the right choices and live His way of life.
This the opposite of what Satan wants.  He wants us to feel guilty and question every decision over and over again.  Satan can control people like this and as long as an individual feels guilty and indecisive there is a chance they will fail.  Satan doesn't want the human race to succeed because if we do then he will have failed.  God gave Satan the gift of free choice too and Satan chose to reject God.  This is exactly what Satan wants us to do, reject God and choose Satan's way of life.  And regrettably this is what is happening in the world.  People are choosing selfishness and greed over God's way of life.

It is wonderful that you understand that change is necessary.  So here's a suggestion:  Ask God for help and pick one thing in your life that needs changing.
Since you mentioned junk food and specifically Cheetos, start with that.  Buy a big bag of Cheetos (less expensive that way) and a box of  pint size ziplock bags.
Check the serving size on the bag of Cheetos and divide the Cheetos into individual serving size portions and put them in the small ziplock bags.
Then choose how often you are going to eat the individual serving of Cheetos but no more than once a day.  It also helps to sit down and enjoy the snack and only eat them when you are honestly hungry and not in place of a meal.
Example:  I really like regular Coke and at one point I was drinking way too much.  So I started making myself drink only one coke a day, then just 3/4 and now on most days I'm drinking 1/2 a bottle a day. I buy the 16 oz bottles so I can put half back in the frig and leave it for the next day.  I still like coke but I've also learned that I feel better if I drink juice, milk and water.

Anyway, hopefully you see my point.  Don't try to change everything all at once.  Most importantly, look at your life and ask God to show you what you need to change.  Remind Him that you don't necessarily want to know everything that needs changing all at once. vbg
Then ask God to help you change.  He doesn't expect you to do it all on your own, but he does expect you to be honest with Him and yourself.  You can't even begin to change if you lie to yourself and to God.  And you shouldn't expect God to do all the work.  Remember this is your choice and you have to choose to work at changing.  The good news is that there isn't anything that you can't do with God help.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13

Another suggestion:  Eat organic food when ever possible.  Thankfully more stores are carrying organic produce and products.  Aside from the obvious lack of pesticides and other additives, organic food generally tastes better.  One of the reasons that junk food is so appealing is that it tastes good.  Compare eating a mealy, almost tasteless, apple to a package of Cheetos and it is understandable why the Cheetos would win the comparison.  But a properly grown organic apple is full of sweet tangy flavor and very good.  This makes the choice a whole lot easier!

Thankfully God is very patient and He understands that it can take time to change.  He is always willing to help as long as we are willing to continue to sincerely try to live His way of life.  When one intentionally rejects God's way then that person has chosen to put selfishness before God and has chosen Satan's way instead of God's.
We know that God loves us.  We also need to understand that we need to show God that He can trust us.  We have to show Him that we are dependable and that we  want to live His way of life no matter what happens. God wants to know that we love Him as much as He loves us.  And that isn't as impossible as it sounds.
We just have to be willing to take the first step and ask for help and then follow through when He gives us the answer.

Christ told Satan that Man can not live on bread alone.

"And the devil said to Him (Christ), "If You are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread."  But Jesus answered him, saying "It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God."  Luke 4:3-4

We need God in order to live.  Adam and Eve rejected that idea and believed Satan when he told them that they wouldn't die.  Adam and Eve didn't die immediately, but they did eventually die. Their decision is still effecting humans today.  We all face death because Adam and Eve chose to follow Satan instead of following God.
Whether God will choose to resurrect them and give them a chance at eternal life is up to God.  Only He and Christ know whether someone is dependable enough for eternal life.  Eternal life is what Adam and Eve rejected in the garden, not their immediate mortal life.
That is the ultimate decision that we all must make.  We can choose to live by physical food alone or we can choose the true food of life that can come only from God through His Spirit.

"See that I have set before you today life and good, death and evil, in that I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways,....... but if your heart turns away so that you do not hear, and are drawn away, and worship other gods and serve them, I announce to you today that you shall surely perish, you shall not prolong your days.......  I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing, therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;  that you  may love the Lord your God; that you may cling to Him, for He is your life......"  Deuteronomy 30:15-20

Like Adam and Eve, the Israelites made the wrong choice.  God sent Christ to live on earth and die so that we would have the opportunity to choose God's way of life and live forever.
Physical food is necessary in order for human beings to live.  What physical food we choose to eat is up to each individual.  God isn't concerned about the occasional Cheeto we eat or the occasional Coke we drink.  God does care that we take care of the physical bodies that He has given us and the example we set for others.
God and Christ are going to return one of these days and what They want most of all is to know that there are people that can be trusted and that value Their love above all other things.  

Rachel, sit down and have a few Cheetos and ask God to show you the changes you need to make in your life and then be willing to listen.  Ask Him to help you get past the parental baggage and the guilt.  
Remember that God wants you to choose the right food, the food that will allow you to grow, to understand, to become wise and to live forever.

Thank you for writing and please feel free to write any time.
Guyna and Mel

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