Expert: Mel and Guyna Horne - 6/16/2004

Question
okay, i am 31 yrs old and have been through some major things in my life I can promise you that, anyhow i am finally over my fear of giving my testimony in front of the youth group at church, but am not sure what is too much and not enough to talk about. there are things like  sneaking out of my window at night to meet boys at 13, sex drugs and drinking. smoking, getting pregnant at 16. quiting school. marryinh the wrong guy for the wrong reasons and having 3 more children and now in the process of a divorce, living on goverment assistance and i aso have the teenager that i was pregnant with at 16 that acts like she is the mother, bossy and mean and now is starting to act like the young girl i once was. so I was wanting to set an example for her to see me telling others my story and for her to see the reactions from the adults and children. the kids would range from 13-19 that would hear the testimony. any way what is too much to talk about? I don't want parents to come back and say that I gave their kids idea's or anything like that.   The title of my talk is "Bad Choices, getting tangled in Satan's web of destruction"

Answer
Hi Christy,

It is great that you are trying to over come your youthful mistakes and are willing to help others.
Part of what God looks for in an individual is the willingness to repent.
Unless an individual is willing to grow and change God is not able to work with him/her and allow him/her to be part of His family.

Again, it is good that you are willing to help others.  But make sure you are ready and have your own affairs in order before you attempt to share your mistakes with others, especially teens.

"And He (Christ) spoke a parable to  them: "Can the blind lead the blind?  Will they both not fall into a ditch?.....  And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the plank in you own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the plank from your own eye?  Hypocrite! First remove the plank that is in your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother's eye."  Luke 6:39, 41-42

Christ's instructions are to be willing to examine oneself and get oneself together before trying to help others.

It is great that you are willing to tell young people about the mistakes that you have made in your life.
Here are a few suggestions that you might want to consider before opening your life to others and suggesting how  they should live their lives.

1.  Have you really repented?   Have you given up your old life and are you now  willing to ask God to teach   you?  Have you asked Him for wisdom and understanding?  (Proverbs 4:7)  Have you ask God to help you make the necessary changes in your own life?
2.  Are you setting the correct example for your children and others by living  God's way?
3.   Can your children see the Godly example you are setting and chose to follow your example?
4.  Have you finished your education?  High school?  College or trade school?
5.  You mentioned government assistance.  Is this the example you want to set for your own children?
I know it is difficult.   I've been a single mom with a small child.  And from my own experience, it is better to ask God to help you find a good job, with hours that will allow you to spend as much time as possible with your children than to live on govt. assistance.  Learn to depend on God.
6.  Again, just a suggestion, but from experience we have not found that organized religion (churches) is the best example for children.  Look to God and Christ and follow their example.

"Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?'  or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'  For after all these things the Gentiles (non-believers) seek,  For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.  But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added t you.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."  Matthew 6:31-34

If you do not want your 16 yr old daughter, and your other children, to make the same mistakes that you have made, then show them a better way of life.  God's way of life.  
Make sure that your own life and the lives of your children are examples that God would be please with before you try teaching others.  Let your own, and your family's Godly example, be the light that leads others to God's way of life.  And remember to be patient with yourself and your children.  As patient as God is willing to be with you.  Change doesn't always come quickly.

Hope this has helped.  If you have further questions or comments please let us know.

Guyna and Mel
Changes - www.geocities.com/changes1611