Expert: Michael Clark, Ph.D. - 7/20/2007

Question
Dear Dr. Michael Clark,

                    Hi I am one of the few women that is a visionairy but my father is such a skeptic. About it and all. My mom she semi believe but she has faith though so does my dad. It is hard to talk to my dad about sainthood because I feel like I am called to it. Well canonized that is. I am such a innocent young adult I am 21 years old but many others think I am a little girl lol I say thank you for the complements though some think I am 15 others 12 lol. Its the genes in my moms side. We have good genes though God hast blest us with that. I am hispanic Puerto Rican/ of the carribean blood. I love my family I just came back from Puerto Rico last week. Then I got very sick I have Sinustitius/common cold, and ear infection bummer. My mom was home for two days taking care of me and the rabbit she was in the hospital she got sick she is better though. I am glad about that. Prayers really work. I am such a sweet mellow nice free-spirited religious girl that I fit with the likes of a saint. I try to be an example of Mary the virgin and christlike. The fact is I have such trouble with boys that they look at me and I am like a disposable. Like a throw away. I dress as a christian woman should I am modest in my appearence I am classy elegant and respectful. I dont care about love making and stuff because I wait till marriage but will that come I dont know I feel like a joke to boys you know. Am I called to religious life like a nun? I am clueless help me please I dont know where to go?

Answer
Jacqueline, I think what you're asking about is what Catholics call discernment. Discernment really has two (arguably related) meanings. One is to tell the difference between those influences which are of God and those which are not--i.e., one "discerns" Satan from God, to use the traditional terms. The other meaning of discernment is about finding out what God wants of you in this life. It seems there are slightly different views about this. Some say that you should do what YOU want to do. So, if I were to enter a pre-religious community to discern my own vocation in life, my spiritual director would probably ask "what do YOU want to do?" Another view of discernment arises for those already in a religious community, like a priest or a nun for instance. There, the ideal seems to be not what the individual wants but what their religious superior wants them to do. So I think they spend a lot of time negating their own personal desires as a sacrifice to the Church and ultimately to Christ.

Of course, there's another view which sort of integrates these two. That's the view that one wants to do what God wants them to do. If that is your chief personal desire then it should be easier in a way. Still, uncertainties arise because sometimes we have competing desires. The process of discerning just what God wants us to do, even if we for the most part want to do what God wants us to do, is not always straightforward.

The best answer I can think of is to pray for guidance and follow your interests. Try out things to see if they actually work in real life. Sometimes we want to serve God in so-and-so a way but find that it doesn't really suit our temperament. Other times we find that we can change and do those things for God that we didn't know we could.

If this sounds a bit confusing it's only because I think discernment (as in discerning God's will) is in many cases a life-long process. We're not perfect beings so it's inevitable that we'll make mistakes. But that's no reason to give up. IMHO we have to keep trying again and again to better be what God created us to be, in this life and the next.

I hope this helps.