Expert: Phillip Senn - 10/4/2008

Question
Thanks so much for your response.  My divorce was final today-I didn't realize when I wrote that this could happen so quickly. John told me via email today when I was begging him to please work with me on our marriage. And just to be clear, John is not living with another woman-what I meant was that he lives in a townhouse and he works out of this townhouse and his secretary is there with him 10-12 hrs a day and he takes her lunch and confides in her, etc. She is in an unhappy marriage. I feel the whole thing is inappropriate but John refused to change these arrangements.  She is attractive and about John's age so it was a bad situation. I am simply broken hearted as not only did I lose my husband but my church would not support me to make him accountable but actually are supporting him.  John was physically abusive and I went to my church for help.  Now I must trust my Lord to help me get through this as I feel like a discarded rag and my self esteem is completely empty.  What I do now I have no idea as all this time I still felt there was hope!  I feel like I have been hit by a mack truck.

Answer
Tori,

I apologize for not fully understanding the situation with your husband when I gave my response. You are correct that his situation is inappropriate, at best. Since the divorce is finalized, there is no need to deal with the "what if"s. It is now time to reassess, and move forward.

As far as the church goes, I have no idea what their response is based upon. The church is always to be supportive, but always within a Scriptural context.

As far as your feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, and lack of self esteem... The Lord is in the healing business in these areas, as well as in others. If your faith is in Him for salvation, He is your Lord. More than that, He is your friend and the One that can make you whole. His love is not like the love of the world that has limitations. His love is unconditional. Those that have a relationship with Him through faith, can have full assurance of His abiding care and love for them.

Those feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and emptiness can be filled with "joy unspeakable and full of glory". He came that we "might have life" and that we might "have it more abundantly."

As you turn your heart more and more toward Him to seek fulfillment, He will turn your sorrow into joy.

With Love In Christ,
Phillip Senn